greetings!
it is about 9.30 p.m. and i just got back from the farm in plant city...
a great evening...
blessed to visit with my parents...
loaded two more 35 gallon garbage can loads full of compost for a friend...
a beautiful evening to drive over and back with the windows down in nancy's truck...
loud music jammin' with lynyrd skynyrd and hank jr...
guess i will always be "red, white and blue" [like skynyrd]...
and my confession is that "a country boy will survive" [hank jr is right on]...
and, then the GARDEN...
the garden reminded me of several things about my dad...
he does nothing SMALL -- it is a BIG garden [maybe that's where i get my extremism from?]...
he does nothing HALF-WAY -- the garden is "done right" [maybe that's where i get some of my perfectionism from?]...
did i mention that he chose mostly "good" vegetables [like corn, potatoes, beans, peas, carrots] -- only the beets and hot peppers are suspect...
it's such a shame that they don't make seeds that will grow bacon double cheeseburgers and BBQ ribs and fried chicken???
please let me know if you find any on the internet...
oh well, i am looking forward to the fruits of "our" labor [guess this means i will need to help out with the work -- ha! ha!]...
one last thing...
i am amazed at how much my dad knows about so much stuff...
i have many degrees -- he has much knowledge...
he just "knows" how to do this garden thing -- how to prepare the ground, how to plant the seeds, how to tend it, how to watch for bugs and diseases [and what to do about them when they illustrate the fallenness of our world] -- he is absolutely sure he will have a BIG harvest...
maybe he should have been the pastor -- gardening seems preferable to seminary when it comes to teaching the art of shepherding...
gardening is all about nurturing...
i don't have a clue about this garden thing...
i keep eyeing the farmer's market on 34th and hillsborough here in the edge of the 'hood -- it may be the closest i ever get to "farming" on my own...
i have absolute confidence that i would spend all that time, money and effort [not to mention trashing our back yard] and get a little of nothing out of it [except nancy saying 'i told you so!'] -- maybe i would help make some bugs really fat and happy...
not daddy!
he is already looking forward to his harvest...
he knows that he knows what he is doing -- it is knowledge grounded in experience!
it is confidence...
it is faith...
his optimism is contagious...
can't wait for the corn...
shalom...
guy
if our economy gets flushed down the crapper and all the food is gone -- let me know -- we will probably have extra to share...
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
day 34, lent 2009
greetings!
today is monday of passion week...
nouwen's thoughts are right-on: "the truly good news is that God is not a distant God, a God to be feared and avoided, a God of revenge, but a God who is moved by our pains and participates in the fullness of the human struggle...as soon as we call God, 'God-with-us', we enter into a new relationship of intimacy with him. by calling him Immanuel, we recognize that he has committed himself to live in solidarity with us, to share our joys and pains, to defend and protect us, and to suffer all of life with us. the God-with-us is a close God, a God whom we call our refuge, our stronghold, our wisdom, and even, more intimately, our helper, our shepherd, our love. we will never really know God as a compassionate God if we do not understand with our heart and mind that 'he lived among us'..."
have a great night...
sweet dreams...
guy
SHALOM!
today is monday of passion week...
nouwen's thoughts are right-on: "the truly good news is that God is not a distant God, a God to be feared and avoided, a God of revenge, but a God who is moved by our pains and participates in the fullness of the human struggle...as soon as we call God, 'God-with-us', we enter into a new relationship of intimacy with him. by calling him Immanuel, we recognize that he has committed himself to live in solidarity with us, to share our joys and pains, to defend and protect us, and to suffer all of life with us. the God-with-us is a close God, a God whom we call our refuge, our stronghold, our wisdom, and even, more intimately, our helper, our shepherd, our love. we will never really know God as a compassionate God if we do not understand with our heart and mind that 'he lived among us'..."
have a great night...
sweet dreams...
guy
SHALOM!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
passion sunday [day 33, lent 2009]
greetings!
our trip over the weekend to see bill hobbs [and visit urban youth impact] was awesome -- i am so pumped about possibilities...
nancy and i also had a great time "on the road" with patty and leah [and it was great to hang out with bill and glenn and jeremy and elizabeth] -- we are so blessed to have such awesome friends!
preaching at ft pierce was so much fun today -- i have really missed the church...
it was a great sermon [if i must say so myself -- ha! ha!]...
i will be preaching there again for easter sunday and once per month after that...
now to nouwen...
i love the following comments related to henri's understanding that human beings dearly love "signs": "the only authentic sign is not some sensational miracle but the suffering, death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. the great sign, which can be understood only by those who are willing to follow Jesus, is the sign of jonah, who also wanted to run away from reality but was summoned back by God to fulfill his arduous task to the end. to look suffering and death straight in the face and to go through them oneself in the hope of a new God-given life: that is the sign of Jesus and of every human being who wishes to lead a spiritual life in imitation of him. it is the sign of the cross: the sign of suffering and death, but also of the hope for total renewal...the core message of Jesus is that real joy and peace can never be reached while bypassing suffering and death, but only by going right through them...Jesus lived his life with the trust that God's love is stronger than death and that death therefore does not have the last word. he invites us to face the painful reality of our existence with the same trust..."
hope you are enjoying our lenten journey...
only one week to palm sunday...
only two weeks to easter...
let's make the most of the journey TOGETHER!
shalom...
guy
have a great week...
our trip over the weekend to see bill hobbs [and visit urban youth impact] was awesome -- i am so pumped about possibilities...
nancy and i also had a great time "on the road" with patty and leah [and it was great to hang out with bill and glenn and jeremy and elizabeth] -- we are so blessed to have such awesome friends!
preaching at ft pierce was so much fun today -- i have really missed the church...
it was a great sermon [if i must say so myself -- ha! ha!]...
i will be preaching there again for easter sunday and once per month after that...
now to nouwen...
i love the following comments related to henri's understanding that human beings dearly love "signs": "the only authentic sign is not some sensational miracle but the suffering, death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. the great sign, which can be understood only by those who are willing to follow Jesus, is the sign of jonah, who also wanted to run away from reality but was summoned back by God to fulfill his arduous task to the end. to look suffering and death straight in the face and to go through them oneself in the hope of a new God-given life: that is the sign of Jesus and of every human being who wishes to lead a spiritual life in imitation of him. it is the sign of the cross: the sign of suffering and death, but also of the hope for total renewal...the core message of Jesus is that real joy and peace can never be reached while bypassing suffering and death, but only by going right through them...Jesus lived his life with the trust that God's love is stronger than death and that death therefore does not have the last word. he invites us to face the painful reality of our existence with the same trust..."
hope you are enjoying our lenten journey...
only one week to palm sunday...
only two weeks to easter...
let's make the most of the journey TOGETHER!
shalom...
guy
have a great week...
Saturday, March 28, 2009
day 32, lent 2009
good saturday morning!
it is amazing what a few hours sleep [and a hot shower] will do to revive a weary traveler...
and there is also the excitement of the day today...
we are off to singer island in a few minutes for breakfast...
let's begin our day with a lenten prayer from henri...
"dear Lord,
show me your kindness and your gentleness,
you who are meek and humble of heart.
so often i say to myself, 'the Lord loves me.'
yet time and again i have to confess
that i have not let your love descend fully
from my mind into my heart.
in the coming weeks, o Lord,
i will be able to see again
how much you indeed love me.
let these weeks become an opportunity for me
to let go of all my resistances to your love
and an occasion for you to call me closer to you."
AMEN!
have a great saturday...
guy
SHALOM!
it is amazing what a few hours sleep [and a hot shower] will do to revive a weary traveler...
and there is also the excitement of the day today...
we are off to singer island in a few minutes for breakfast...
let's begin our day with a lenten prayer from henri...
"dear Lord,
show me your kindness and your gentleness,
you who are meek and humble of heart.
so often i say to myself, 'the Lord loves me.'
yet time and again i have to confess
that i have not let your love descend fully
from my mind into my heart.
in the coming weeks, o Lord,
i will be able to see again
how much you indeed love me.
let these weeks become an opportunity for me
to let go of all my resistances to your love
and an occasion for you to call me closer to you."
AMEN!
have a great saturday...
guy
SHALOM!
day 31, lent 2009
early saturday greetings [12.19 am]...
nancy, patty, leah and i just drove from tampa to ft pierce for our missional weekend of discovery...
later today, we will have lunch with bill hobbs and the parenting ministry team from urban youth impact in inner city west palm beach...
our goal is to move beyond tutoring kids in tampa, to supporting the parents and grandparents [many working solo] in ways that will empower them to form the family support network and undergirding community necessary to help their kids achieve...
tutoring is great BUT the kids need more -- they need parental encouragement and empowerment...
what excites us about bill [besides our friendship of over 20 years] and the UYI team is that the people who are now leading the parents ministry were some of the early students in the program -- now that's empowerment!
we can hardly wait!
we will also be blessed to hang out with glenn and jeremy and elizabeth tomorrow -- looking forward to being with you...
i will close the weekend speaking at trinity EPC in ft pierce...
then back home...
wish you could all be here with us!
for friday [a little late], nouwen shared: "we are poor listeners because we are afraid that there is something other than love in God. this is not so strange since we seldom, if ever, experience love without a taint of jealousy, resentment, revenge, or even hatred. often we see love surrounded by limitations and conditions. we tend to doubt what presents itself to us as love and are always on guard, prepared for disappointments..."
AMEN!
i am so guilty...
what if i do listen to God and he says something to me that i do not want to hear?
what if i do listen to God and he calls me to do something i do not want to do?
what if i listen to God and he demands his will rather than my own?
enough said...
i guess nouwen is right -- at its very root, this is a crisis of love...and trust!
so, if God is really perfect in his love, maybe i should listen and simply trust...
too deep for me while i am this tired...
shalom...
guy
have you read bill hobbs new book MY LONGEST DRIVE??? it is a MUST READ! i am picking up 50 copies tomorrow -- would you like one???
nancy, patty, leah and i just drove from tampa to ft pierce for our missional weekend of discovery...
later today, we will have lunch with bill hobbs and the parenting ministry team from urban youth impact in inner city west palm beach...
our goal is to move beyond tutoring kids in tampa, to supporting the parents and grandparents [many working solo] in ways that will empower them to form the family support network and undergirding community necessary to help their kids achieve...
tutoring is great BUT the kids need more -- they need parental encouragement and empowerment...
what excites us about bill [besides our friendship of over 20 years] and the UYI team is that the people who are now leading the parents ministry were some of the early students in the program -- now that's empowerment!
we can hardly wait!
we will also be blessed to hang out with glenn and jeremy and elizabeth tomorrow -- looking forward to being with you...
i will close the weekend speaking at trinity EPC in ft pierce...
then back home...
wish you could all be here with us!
for friday [a little late], nouwen shared: "we are poor listeners because we are afraid that there is something other than love in God. this is not so strange since we seldom, if ever, experience love without a taint of jealousy, resentment, revenge, or even hatred. often we see love surrounded by limitations and conditions. we tend to doubt what presents itself to us as love and are always on guard, prepared for disappointments..."
AMEN!
i am so guilty...
what if i do listen to God and he says something to me that i do not want to hear?
what if i do listen to God and he calls me to do something i do not want to do?
what if i listen to God and he demands his will rather than my own?
enough said...
i guess nouwen is right -- at its very root, this is a crisis of love...and trust!
so, if God is really perfect in his love, maybe i should listen and simply trust...
too deep for me while i am this tired...
shalom...
guy
have you read bill hobbs new book MY LONGEST DRIVE??? it is a MUST READ! i am picking up 50 copies tomorrow -- would you like one???
Thursday, March 26, 2009
day 30, lent 2009
greetings!
nouwen was so RIGHT ON today in SHOW ME THE WAY -- there are several thoughts i could share...
but, my favorite -- the one that resonated with me -- was in his prayer for the day...
"how can i rejoice fully in your resurrection
when i have avoided participating in your death?
yes, Lord, i have to die --
with you, through you, and in you --
and thus become ready to recognize you
when you appear to me in your resurrection.
there is so much in me that needs to die:
false attachments, greed and anger,
impatience and stinginess.
o Lord, i am self-centered,
concerned about myself, my career, my future,
my name and future, my name and fame...
i see clearly now how little i have died with you,
really gone your way and been faithful to it.
o Lord, make this lenten season
different from the other ones.
let me find you again."
AMEN!
guy
TGIF!
nouwen was so RIGHT ON today in SHOW ME THE WAY -- there are several thoughts i could share...
but, my favorite -- the one that resonated with me -- was in his prayer for the day...
"how can i rejoice fully in your resurrection
when i have avoided participating in your death?
yes, Lord, i have to die --
with you, through you, and in you --
and thus become ready to recognize you
when you appear to me in your resurrection.
there is so much in me that needs to die:
false attachments, greed and anger,
impatience and stinginess.
o Lord, i am self-centered,
concerned about myself, my career, my future,
my name and future, my name and fame...
i see clearly now how little i have died with you,
really gone your way and been faithful to it.
o Lord, make this lenten season
different from the other ones.
let me find you again."
AMEN!
guy
TGIF!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
day 29, lent 2009
greetings!
tonight is part two of this thought [so please read day day 28 first]...
luke 13.20-21: "again he asked, 'what shall i compare the KINGDOM OF GOD to? it is like yeast that a women took and mixed into about sixty pounds of flour until it worked all through the dough'..."
the KINGDOM OF GOD is both NOW and THEN...
a little seed...
a little yeast...
a little kindness...
a little compassion...
a little love...
little things can make a big difference...
i was shocked the first time i visited mr williams...
it was almost like i "crawled" into his little hovel -- maybe 8 feet wide and 10 feet deep -- yes, that's all there was -- and clutter everywhere...
one room -- everything he owned in this world...
he lived on 30th street in a rough part of the 'hood -- yes, there were bars on the windows and more bars across the entrance to his door...
i took a seat on his single bed next to him to chat...
"sometime this little ole room feels like a prison -- these here walls just closes in on me -- i've been stayin' here over thirteen years..."
we talked for about an hour that first day...
he was so thankful for his old church and their care for him...
"you know, they brings me one meal everyday -- monday through friday!"
he proudly showed me the take-out plate he had received that friday morning a little after lunch -- "the food was really good today..."
i don't always listen well, so i thought i might have missed something -- my question just kinda popped out: "so mr williams, what do you eat on the weekends?"
he paused and replied: "i just waits for monday to come back around..."
i am not sure i could survive [and be grateful] for one meal a day -- i know i would plunge into utter darkness if i had to skip eating on the weekends...
i followed up: "so what would you like to eat over the weekend mr williams?"
he simply said: "i really just likes food chaplain guy!"
that was about six weeks ago...
every week [but one] since that friday, the holy spirit has reminded me of mr williams over the weekend while i was eating -- i have been blessed with the opportunity to deliver meals to him on sundays...
one week it was a massive plate lunch from a redneck family reunion in plant city...
another week it was homemade lima beans with smoked sausage...
another week it was a take-out burger from rockin-sports in ybor...
you get the idea...
this past week glenn went with me to make the delivery...
we brought two hot grilled cheese sandwiches and some of nancy's homemade brunswick stew [no i didn't eat any on the over, but i did munch down before i left the house -- ha! ha!]...
it was the first day i really felt like mr williams was waiting for us -- you would not have believed the smile...
he did not need to say that he was happy to see us -- he didn't need to say thank you -- that smile said it all!
he melted both glenn and me...
without a doubt, it was my most joyful moment of the week...
we got so much more out of this delivery than mr williams did -- not even close...
i felt the pleasure of Jesus as we served the food...
in my opinion, this is the stuff Jesus would be doing "in the flesh" in tampa...
for just a moment -- glenn and i were privileged to live out matthew 25 -- we "saw" the face of Jesus when we locked eyes with mr williams...
such a little thing...
a little seed of compassion and care...
a little yeast of kindness and concern...
a little act of love...
a little taste of the joy of the emerging kingdom...
a little bit of heaven on earth...
or, as mother teresa would say: "a small act done with great love that will change the world..."
maybe this is what the KINGDOM OF GOD is really like...
shalom...
guy
sweet dreams...
tonight is part two of this thought [so please read day day 28 first]...
luke 13.20-21: "again he asked, 'what shall i compare the KINGDOM OF GOD to? it is like yeast that a women took and mixed into about sixty pounds of flour until it worked all through the dough'..."
the KINGDOM OF GOD is both NOW and THEN...
a little seed...
a little yeast...
a little kindness...
a little compassion...
a little love...
little things can make a big difference...
i was shocked the first time i visited mr williams...
it was almost like i "crawled" into his little hovel -- maybe 8 feet wide and 10 feet deep -- yes, that's all there was -- and clutter everywhere...
one room -- everything he owned in this world...
he lived on 30th street in a rough part of the 'hood -- yes, there were bars on the windows and more bars across the entrance to his door...
i took a seat on his single bed next to him to chat...
"sometime this little ole room feels like a prison -- these here walls just closes in on me -- i've been stayin' here over thirteen years..."
we talked for about an hour that first day...
he was so thankful for his old church and their care for him...
"you know, they brings me one meal everyday -- monday through friday!"
he proudly showed me the take-out plate he had received that friday morning a little after lunch -- "the food was really good today..."
i don't always listen well, so i thought i might have missed something -- my question just kinda popped out: "so mr williams, what do you eat on the weekends?"
he paused and replied: "i just waits for monday to come back around..."
i am not sure i could survive [and be grateful] for one meal a day -- i know i would plunge into utter darkness if i had to skip eating on the weekends...
i followed up: "so what would you like to eat over the weekend mr williams?"
he simply said: "i really just likes food chaplain guy!"
that was about six weeks ago...
every week [but one] since that friday, the holy spirit has reminded me of mr williams over the weekend while i was eating -- i have been blessed with the opportunity to deliver meals to him on sundays...
one week it was a massive plate lunch from a redneck family reunion in plant city...
another week it was homemade lima beans with smoked sausage...
another week it was a take-out burger from rockin-sports in ybor...
you get the idea...
this past week glenn went with me to make the delivery...
we brought two hot grilled cheese sandwiches and some of nancy's homemade brunswick stew [no i didn't eat any on the over, but i did munch down before i left the house -- ha! ha!]...
it was the first day i really felt like mr williams was waiting for us -- you would not have believed the smile...
he did not need to say that he was happy to see us -- he didn't need to say thank you -- that smile said it all!
he melted both glenn and me...
without a doubt, it was my most joyful moment of the week...
we got so much more out of this delivery than mr williams did -- not even close...
i felt the pleasure of Jesus as we served the food...
in my opinion, this is the stuff Jesus would be doing "in the flesh" in tampa...
for just a moment -- glenn and i were privileged to live out matthew 25 -- we "saw" the face of Jesus when we locked eyes with mr williams...
such a little thing...
a little seed of compassion and care...
a little yeast of kindness and concern...
a little act of love...
a little taste of the joy of the emerging kingdom...
a little bit of heaven on earth...
or, as mother teresa would say: "a small act done with great love that will change the world..."
maybe this is what the KINGDOM OF GOD is really like...
shalom...
guy
sweet dreams...
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
day 28, lent 2009
greetings!
my thoughts today have focused on the KINGDOM OF GOD...
during a couple of breaks today between patient visits, i was reading from luke's gospel -- both times the words that jumped out were about the KINGDOM...
luke 17.21: "for, in fact, the KINGDOM OF GOD is among you!"
luke 13.18-19: "what is the KINGDOM OF GOD like? and to what should i compare it? it is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in the garden; it grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air made nests in its branches..."
three thoughts...
1. the mustard seed is one of the smallest of all seeds -- the genesis of the KINGDOM OF GOD must be in very small acts [or according to mother teresa: "small things done with great love will change the world!"]...
2. the KINGDOM is both NOW and FUTURE -- the KINGDOM will be fully consummated in the future, but it is already "planted" in the soil of our present age [and in our sphere of relational influence]...
3. the KINGDOM OF GOD is good news for those in need [just like the birds were thrilled with the branches, so people are blessed by the "shelter" of the growing KINGDOM]...
tomorrow, i will tell you a KINGDOM story about mr williams...
shalom...
guy
my thoughts today have focused on the KINGDOM OF GOD...
during a couple of breaks today between patient visits, i was reading from luke's gospel -- both times the words that jumped out were about the KINGDOM...
luke 17.21: "for, in fact, the KINGDOM OF GOD is among you!"
luke 13.18-19: "what is the KINGDOM OF GOD like? and to what should i compare it? it is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in the garden; it grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air made nests in its branches..."
three thoughts...
1. the mustard seed is one of the smallest of all seeds -- the genesis of the KINGDOM OF GOD must be in very small acts [or according to mother teresa: "small things done with great love will change the world!"]...
2. the KINGDOM is both NOW and FUTURE -- the KINGDOM will be fully consummated in the future, but it is already "planted" in the soil of our present age [and in our sphere of relational influence]...
3. the KINGDOM OF GOD is good news for those in need [just like the birds were thrilled with the branches, so people are blessed by the "shelter" of the growing KINGDOM]...
tomorrow, i will tell you a KINGDOM story about mr williams...
shalom...
guy
Monday, March 23, 2009
day 27, lent 2009
greetings!
had a wonderful time at CPE [clinical pastoral education] tonight, but it is very late and i am quite tired...
a thought from nouwen for today: "when Jesus talks about faith, he means first of all to trust unreservedly that you are loved, so that you can abandon every false way of obtaining love. that's why Jesus tells nicodemus that, through faith in the descending love of God, we will be set free from anxiety and violence and will find eternal life..."
WE ARE LOVED!
even though we are prodigal children / saints at times, the Father is always surrounding us with his love of another kind!!!
i will rest in that tonight...
sweet dreams...
guy
shalom!
had a wonderful time at CPE [clinical pastoral education] tonight, but it is very late and i am quite tired...
a thought from nouwen for today: "when Jesus talks about faith, he means first of all to trust unreservedly that you are loved, so that you can abandon every false way of obtaining love. that's why Jesus tells nicodemus that, through faith in the descending love of God, we will be set free from anxiety and violence and will find eternal life..."
WE ARE LOVED!
even though we are prodigal children / saints at times, the Father is always surrounding us with his love of another kind!!!
i will rest in that tonight...
sweet dreams...
guy
shalom!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
day 26, lent 2009
"And great fear seized the whole church…"
This may be the greatest understatement in the bible. It is the punch line to the bizarre story of Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5.
As chapter 4 ends, we hear the wonderful and encouraging news that the church is giving powerful witness to the resurrection of Jesus Christ by sharing all their goods amongst themselves for the common good. It is a miracle that "there was not a needy person among them [for as many as owned lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold and they laid it at the apostles’ feet and it was distributed to each as any had need]." Cool beans!
One example given of such gracious generosity is Joseph [a Levite of Cyprus]. He liquidated a field and gave the entire purchase price to the church. WOW! There was great joy in the whole community – all their needs would be met for awhile longer! In fact, this was such a big deal to the church that they blessed Joe with a new name – from now on, he would be called Barnabus which means "son of encouragement" [not really sure that naming someone Barnie is a real blessing]. Spirits were running high and "great grace was upon them all"…
Suddenly a seed was planted in the hearts of Ananias and Sapphira. Maybe we could grab some of this limelight within the community! Maybe we could be the next heroes to be adored! Maybe we could get new names [after all, our names are so crappy we probably couldn’t do any worse]! So, they agreed to sell some property and give SOME of the money to the church, but keep back a part for themselves – who would know? They could have the best of both worlds – the acclaim of the church [for their sacrifice] and the nest egg concealed in their Swiss bank account…
OOPS! This deal goes way sour! It appears God did know of their plot and lying to the Holy Spirit is a very bad choice. Both dropped dead and were buried! They lost it all – the spiritual limelight they coveted and the money they craved. Not the notoriety they had schemed to attain…
"And great fear seized the whole church…"
So glad we have a "different" God these days. I am glad people aren’t falling dead in church for lying, withholding promised funds and coveting the adoration of people around them. If I am really truthful, I can identify with this covetous couple. My false self is constantly trying to form my identity as a person based on "what I do, what I have and what others think of me" [Fr Basil Pennington]. My false self loves being loved! My false self adores being adored! My false self would always rather please people than please God! After all, people-pleasing has a direct payoff while pleasing God forces me to deal with delayed gratification. And, people-pleasing feeds the voracious appetite of my false self for significance, power, influence, importance, control, prominence and acceptance…
So do we really have a "different" God these days? No, I don’t think so. People-pleasing is still very deadly – whether it is Ananias and Sapphira or me! The death is not as dramatic these days, but it may be even more dangerous. People-pleasing murders your true self over a lifetime. And, after all – death is death – people-pleasing still leaves your true self dead and buried…
But, I believe in the resurrection – new life animating my true self once again! I believe God breathes zoë into my true self through the spiritual practices of solitude and secrecy.
Henri Nouwen observes: "Solitude is the furnace of transformation. Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self…Solitude is the place of the great struggle and the great encounter – the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving God who offers himself as the substance of the new self."
In moments of utter quietness in the safety of God’s lap, I am able to go deeper and deeper within undaunted by my FEAR – and I am blessed to discover, not only God’s irrational love for me, but also the identity and worth of my truest self. I am no longer a "stranger in my own house" – I am "at home" with "who I am" and with "whose I am"…
Let me close with saying just how much I hate the spiritual practice of secrecy. I want to do my good deeds very intentionally so they have benefit and yield an immediate payoff. I want my reward BOTH now and later! Did I mention how much I do NOT like Jesus’ statement about public acts of generosity getting their reward only here and not in the kingdom to come. My true self needs some spiritual "wheaties" at this point – this week, I will do a generous act in secret [if it kills me]… Maybe it will choke some more of the demonic life out of my false self…
shalom...
guy
have a great week...
This may be the greatest understatement in the bible. It is the punch line to the bizarre story of Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5.
As chapter 4 ends, we hear the wonderful and encouraging news that the church is giving powerful witness to the resurrection of Jesus Christ by sharing all their goods amongst themselves for the common good. It is a miracle that "there was not a needy person among them [for as many as owned lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold and they laid it at the apostles’ feet and it was distributed to each as any had need]." Cool beans!
One example given of such gracious generosity is Joseph [a Levite of Cyprus]. He liquidated a field and gave the entire purchase price to the church. WOW! There was great joy in the whole community – all their needs would be met for awhile longer! In fact, this was such a big deal to the church that they blessed Joe with a new name – from now on, he would be called Barnabus which means "son of encouragement" [not really sure that naming someone Barnie is a real blessing]. Spirits were running high and "great grace was upon them all"…
Suddenly a seed was planted in the hearts of Ananias and Sapphira. Maybe we could grab some of this limelight within the community! Maybe we could be the next heroes to be adored! Maybe we could get new names [after all, our names are so crappy we probably couldn’t do any worse]! So, they agreed to sell some property and give SOME of the money to the church, but keep back a part for themselves – who would know? They could have the best of both worlds – the acclaim of the church [for their sacrifice] and the nest egg concealed in their Swiss bank account…
OOPS! This deal goes way sour! It appears God did know of their plot and lying to the Holy Spirit is a very bad choice. Both dropped dead and were buried! They lost it all – the spiritual limelight they coveted and the money they craved. Not the notoriety they had schemed to attain…
"And great fear seized the whole church…"
So glad we have a "different" God these days. I am glad people aren’t falling dead in church for lying, withholding promised funds and coveting the adoration of people around them. If I am really truthful, I can identify with this covetous couple. My false self is constantly trying to form my identity as a person based on "what I do, what I have and what others think of me" [Fr Basil Pennington]. My false self loves being loved! My false self adores being adored! My false self would always rather please people than please God! After all, people-pleasing has a direct payoff while pleasing God forces me to deal with delayed gratification. And, people-pleasing feeds the voracious appetite of my false self for significance, power, influence, importance, control, prominence and acceptance…
So do we really have a "different" God these days? No, I don’t think so. People-pleasing is still very deadly – whether it is Ananias and Sapphira or me! The death is not as dramatic these days, but it may be even more dangerous. People-pleasing murders your true self over a lifetime. And, after all – death is death – people-pleasing still leaves your true self dead and buried…
But, I believe in the resurrection – new life animating my true self once again! I believe God breathes zoë into my true self through the spiritual practices of solitude and secrecy.
Henri Nouwen observes: "Solitude is the furnace of transformation. Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self…Solitude is the place of the great struggle and the great encounter – the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving God who offers himself as the substance of the new self."
In moments of utter quietness in the safety of God’s lap, I am able to go deeper and deeper within undaunted by my FEAR – and I am blessed to discover, not only God’s irrational love for me, but also the identity and worth of my truest self. I am no longer a "stranger in my own house" – I am "at home" with "who I am" and with "whose I am"…
Let me close with saying just how much I hate the spiritual practice of secrecy. I want to do my good deeds very intentionally so they have benefit and yield an immediate payoff. I want my reward BOTH now and later! Did I mention how much I do NOT like Jesus’ statement about public acts of generosity getting their reward only here and not in the kingdom to come. My true self needs some spiritual "wheaties" at this point – this week, I will do a generous act in secret [if it kills me]… Maybe it will choke some more of the demonic life out of my false self…
shalom...
guy
have a great week...
Saturday, March 21, 2009
day 25, lent 2009
happy saturday...
we are now two weeks away from palm sunday...
only three weeks away from easter sunday...
today, nouwen's daily prayer spoke to me...
"o Lord, this holy season of lent is passing quickly.
i entered into it with fear,
but also with great expectations.
i hoped for a great breakthrough,
a powerful conversion, a real change of heart;
i wanted easter to be a day so full of light
that not even a trace of darkness
would be left in my soul.
but i know that you do not come to your people
with thunder and lightning...
let me be thankful for your gentle way.
i know you are at work.
i know you will not leave me alone.
i know you are quickening me for easter --
but in a way fitting to my own history
and my own temperament.
i pray that these last three weeks,
in which you invite me to enter more fully
into the mystery of your passion,
will bring me a greater desire to follow you
on the way that you create for me
and to accept the cross that you give to me.
let me die to the desire
to choose my own way and select my own cross.
you do not want to make me a hero,
but a servant who loves you.
be with me tomorrow and in the days to come,
and let me experience your gentle presence...
amen"
shalom...
guy
happy Lord's day!
we are now two weeks away from palm sunday...
only three weeks away from easter sunday...
today, nouwen's daily prayer spoke to me...
"o Lord, this holy season of lent is passing quickly.
i entered into it with fear,
but also with great expectations.
i hoped for a great breakthrough,
a powerful conversion, a real change of heart;
i wanted easter to be a day so full of light
that not even a trace of darkness
would be left in my soul.
but i know that you do not come to your people
with thunder and lightning...
let me be thankful for your gentle way.
i know you are at work.
i know you will not leave me alone.
i know you are quickening me for easter --
but in a way fitting to my own history
and my own temperament.
i pray that these last three weeks,
in which you invite me to enter more fully
into the mystery of your passion,
will bring me a greater desire to follow you
on the way that you create for me
and to accept the cross that you give to me.
let me die to the desire
to choose my own way and select my own cross.
you do not want to make me a hero,
but a servant who loves you.
be with me tomorrow and in the days to come,
and let me experience your gentle presence...
amen"
shalom...
guy
happy Lord's day!
Friday, March 20, 2009
day 24, lent 2009
what an awesome day!
i took the whole day off and worked on CPE projects -- especially reading a great book entitled OUTLIERS by malcolm gladwell [yes, i recommend it -- i think most of it is right on]...
note especially his "10,000 hour principle for success" -- very insightful!
i spent the day in plant city with my parents -- i made the dawgs so happy because i took them over for a day of rowdy running at the farm...
then glenn and i went out to eat [at THE NEST in ybor -- a mediterranean cuisine restaurant] -- then off to a really cool conference at the tampa underground focusing on "preaching, teaching and story-telling"...
awesome!
nouwen: "to live the spiritual life is to live in the presence of God...for him who has become close to God, all is one. only God counts, and in God all people and all things are embraced with love. to live in the presence of God, however, is to live with purity of heart, with simple-mindedness, and with total acceptance of his will. that, indeed, demands a choice, a decision, and great courage. it is a sign of true holiness..."
living in the presence of God is to live with singleness of heart...
living in the presence of God is to live with simplicity, humility and mission...
living in the presence of God is to live with total surrender to God's desires...
living in the presence of God is to live with wholeness...
living in the presence of God is to live with COURAGE...
sounds like the way i want to live -- how about you?
shalom...
guy
have a great weekend...
by the way, 50 is great!
i took the whole day off and worked on CPE projects -- especially reading a great book entitled OUTLIERS by malcolm gladwell [yes, i recommend it -- i think most of it is right on]...
note especially his "10,000 hour principle for success" -- very insightful!
i spent the day in plant city with my parents -- i made the dawgs so happy because i took them over for a day of rowdy running at the farm...
then glenn and i went out to eat [at THE NEST in ybor -- a mediterranean cuisine restaurant] -- then off to a really cool conference at the tampa underground focusing on "preaching, teaching and story-telling"...
awesome!
nouwen: "to live the spiritual life is to live in the presence of God...for him who has become close to God, all is one. only God counts, and in God all people and all things are embraced with love. to live in the presence of God, however, is to live with purity of heart, with simple-mindedness, and with total acceptance of his will. that, indeed, demands a choice, a decision, and great courage. it is a sign of true holiness..."
living in the presence of God is to live with singleness of heart...
living in the presence of God is to live with simplicity, humility and mission...
living in the presence of God is to live with total surrender to God's desires...
living in the presence of God is to live with wholeness...
living in the presence of God is to live with COURAGE...
sounds like the way i want to live -- how about you?
shalom...
guy
have a great weekend...
by the way, 50 is great!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
day 23, lent 2009
what a birthday party!
we just got home and its 11 p.m.
i really feel 50 right about now...
THANK YOU to everyone who made it happen -- especially my home church family!
i know i can be overly dramatic [my family is saying AMEN], but this has been my best birthday ever...
my soul feels healthier at this point in the journey than it has for years -- i am actually looking forward to the future!
THANKS again...
nouwen in SHOW ME THE WAY: "from all that i said about our worried, over-filled lives, it is clear that we are usually surrounded by so much inner and outer noise that it is hard to truly hear our God when he is speaking to us. we have often become deaf, unable to know when God calls us and unable to understand in which direction he calls us. thus our lives have become ABSURD. in the word 'absurd' we find the latin word 'surdus' which means 'deaf.' a spiritual life requires discipline because we need to learn to listen to God, who constantly speaks but whom we seldom hear. when, however, we learn to listen, our lives become OBEDIENT lives. the word 'obedient' comes from the latin word 'audire' which means 'listening.' a spiritual discipline is necessary in order to move slowly from an ABSURD to an OBEDIENT life, from a life filled with noisy worries to a life in which there is some free inner space where we can listen to our God and follow his guidance. Jesus' life was a life of obedience. he was always listening to the Father, always attentive to his voice, always alert for his directions. Jesus was 'ALL EAR!' that is true prayer -- being all ear for God! the core of all prayer is indeed listening, obediently standing in the presence of God..."
has life become ABSURD?
maybe it is time to LISTEN...
i bet i fall asleep before my 10 minutes of Jesus-focusing is done tonight...
sweet dreams...
shalom...
guy
by the way, mac and ty [our family's two boxers] are laying at my feet and did assist in the compilation of this blog -- thanks matt g!
we just got home and its 11 p.m.
i really feel 50 right about now...
THANK YOU to everyone who made it happen -- especially my home church family!
i know i can be overly dramatic [my family is saying AMEN], but this has been my best birthday ever...
my soul feels healthier at this point in the journey than it has for years -- i am actually looking forward to the future!
THANKS again...
nouwen in SHOW ME THE WAY: "from all that i said about our worried, over-filled lives, it is clear that we are usually surrounded by so much inner and outer noise that it is hard to truly hear our God when he is speaking to us. we have often become deaf, unable to know when God calls us and unable to understand in which direction he calls us. thus our lives have become ABSURD. in the word 'absurd' we find the latin word 'surdus' which means 'deaf.' a spiritual life requires discipline because we need to learn to listen to God, who constantly speaks but whom we seldom hear. when, however, we learn to listen, our lives become OBEDIENT lives. the word 'obedient' comes from the latin word 'audire' which means 'listening.' a spiritual discipline is necessary in order to move slowly from an ABSURD to an OBEDIENT life, from a life filled with noisy worries to a life in which there is some free inner space where we can listen to our God and follow his guidance. Jesus' life was a life of obedience. he was always listening to the Father, always attentive to his voice, always alert for his directions. Jesus was 'ALL EAR!' that is true prayer -- being all ear for God! the core of all prayer is indeed listening, obediently standing in the presence of God..."
has life become ABSURD?
maybe it is time to LISTEN...
i bet i fall asleep before my 10 minutes of Jesus-focusing is done tonight...
sweet dreams...
shalom...
guy
by the way, mac and ty [our family's two boxers] are laying at my feet and did assist in the compilation of this blog -- thanks matt g!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
day 22, lent 2009
good evening...
i started celebrating my 50th tonight with nancy and matt at the green iguana on the strip in ybor city...
i love ybor -- my favorite place in tampa...
i love the little joints like the green iguana that are right on 7th avenue...
i love florida in the evening in march...
perfect temp...
refreshing breeze...
great food...
great company...
one of the best places in the world to eat and people-watch [and car-watch and bike-watch and you get the idea]...
tonight is another red wine chill night -- but, pandora's internet radio is blasting lynyrd skynyrd instead of jimmy buffet...
what is it about skynyrd?
guess they will always be my favorite...
can't wait to see them in june at the ford amphitheater here in tampa...
anybody wanna join me besides matt g and matt r???
i am off from work tomorrow...
have a great friend coming in to spend the weekend with us -- see ya tomorrow night glenn...
got a great gift in the mail today from my soul friend in tennessee -- thanks donald!
matt gave me a cool card -- i am so proud to be your dad -- love you son!
on to nouwen: "the great mystery of the divine revelation is that God entered into intimacy with us not only by Christ's coming, but also by his leaving. indeed, it is in Christ's absence that our intimacy with him is so profound that we can say he dwells in us, call him our food and drink, and experience him as the center of our being...that this is far from a theoretical idea becomes clear in the lives of people like Dietrich Bonhoeffer who, while in a nazi prison awaiting death, experienced Christ's presence in the midst of his absence. bonhoeffer writes: 'the God who is with us is the God who forsakes us [mark 15.34]...before God and with God we live without God.' thus the memory of Jesus Christ is much more than the bringing to mind of past redemptive events. it is a life-giving memory, a memory which sustains and nurtures us here and now and so gives us a real sense of being rooted amid the many crises of daily life..."
Jesus told his followers -- then and now -- that it was for their / our benefit that he go away...
the blessing is that the Holy Spirit then breathes on us in a fresh new way...
maybe the Holy Spirit is the spirit of remembrance?
maybe one of the intimate works of God's very breath within us is to make Jesus present and contemporary -- REAL -- birthing sustaining and empowering memories within us...
possibly even archetypal memories from eternity past?
i love communion [maybe not as much as henri, but i do love breaking the bread and sharing the cup] -- maybe it is the Spirit [Paraclete] who helps us to remember Jesus' life, death and resurrection until he comes again...
i'm going to ask the Spirit to do this spiritual memory work in me this sunday when brian invites the underground to the table of remembrance...
Jesus will always be alive and well within our lives through Spirit memories!
maybe this breath becomes even more profound when we find ourselves gasping for spiritual air because of persecution, busyness, the choking cares of this life, the clutter of stuff, stubborn rebellion, spiritual amnesia, etc.
the Spirit brings Jesus to us even more intimately when we are most spiritually lucid because of pain -- instead of running away, Jesus runs to us...
like the lost son in the pigpen we come to our senses...
remembering Jesus often happens when we are out of other options...
at these moments -- sacramental moments -- there is grace...
wonder how different my life could be IF i breathed more frequently and deeply of the Spirit of remembrance?
bet this would be worth the time invested to experience...
i am going to close my day -- my last day of being 49 years old -- with 10 minutes of silence asking the Spirit to remind me of Jesus...
"Holy Spirit, fill my whole being with memories of Jesus!"
bet i will have sweet dreams -- hope you do as well...
shalom...
guy
i started celebrating my 50th tonight with nancy and matt at the green iguana on the strip in ybor city...
i love ybor -- my favorite place in tampa...
i love the little joints like the green iguana that are right on 7th avenue...
i love florida in the evening in march...
perfect temp...
refreshing breeze...
great food...
great company...
one of the best places in the world to eat and people-watch [and car-watch and bike-watch and you get the idea]...
tonight is another red wine chill night -- but, pandora's internet radio is blasting lynyrd skynyrd instead of jimmy buffet...
what is it about skynyrd?
guess they will always be my favorite...
can't wait to see them in june at the ford amphitheater here in tampa...
anybody wanna join me besides matt g and matt r???
i am off from work tomorrow...
have a great friend coming in to spend the weekend with us -- see ya tomorrow night glenn...
got a great gift in the mail today from my soul friend in tennessee -- thanks donald!
matt gave me a cool card -- i am so proud to be your dad -- love you son!
on to nouwen: "the great mystery of the divine revelation is that God entered into intimacy with us not only by Christ's coming, but also by his leaving. indeed, it is in Christ's absence that our intimacy with him is so profound that we can say he dwells in us, call him our food and drink, and experience him as the center of our being...that this is far from a theoretical idea becomes clear in the lives of people like Dietrich Bonhoeffer who, while in a nazi prison awaiting death, experienced Christ's presence in the midst of his absence. bonhoeffer writes: 'the God who is with us is the God who forsakes us [mark 15.34]...before God and with God we live without God.' thus the memory of Jesus Christ is much more than the bringing to mind of past redemptive events. it is a life-giving memory, a memory which sustains and nurtures us here and now and so gives us a real sense of being rooted amid the many crises of daily life..."
Jesus told his followers -- then and now -- that it was for their / our benefit that he go away...
the blessing is that the Holy Spirit then breathes on us in a fresh new way...
maybe the Holy Spirit is the spirit of remembrance?
maybe one of the intimate works of God's very breath within us is to make Jesus present and contemporary -- REAL -- birthing sustaining and empowering memories within us...
possibly even archetypal memories from eternity past?
i love communion [maybe not as much as henri, but i do love breaking the bread and sharing the cup] -- maybe it is the Spirit [Paraclete] who helps us to remember Jesus' life, death and resurrection until he comes again...
i'm going to ask the Spirit to do this spiritual memory work in me this sunday when brian invites the underground to the table of remembrance...
Jesus will always be alive and well within our lives through Spirit memories!
maybe this breath becomes even more profound when we find ourselves gasping for spiritual air because of persecution, busyness, the choking cares of this life, the clutter of stuff, stubborn rebellion, spiritual amnesia, etc.
the Spirit brings Jesus to us even more intimately when we are most spiritually lucid because of pain -- instead of running away, Jesus runs to us...
like the lost son in the pigpen we come to our senses...
remembering Jesus often happens when we are out of other options...
at these moments -- sacramental moments -- there is grace...
wonder how different my life could be IF i breathed more frequently and deeply of the Spirit of remembrance?
bet this would be worth the time invested to experience...
i am going to close my day -- my last day of being 49 years old -- with 10 minutes of silence asking the Spirit to remind me of Jesus...
"Holy Spirit, fill my whole being with memories of Jesus!"
bet i will have sweet dreams -- hope you do as well...
shalom...
guy
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
day 21, lent 2009
oops, it is 11 p.m.
better write something and get to bed...
today was a great day with hospice -- i connected deeply with five of my six patients -- we were able to get honest about the FEAR of dying...
deep conversations...
we shared some tears as we embraced our fears...
there were moments i could feel Jesus in the room with us -- what peace in the midst of the valley of the shadow of death...
i am going to write something soon on the great difference between DYING and BEING DEAD -- i am NOT afraid of being dead, but i am still very afraid of the process of dying [i think it's called being human]...
anyhow, very emotionally and spiritually draining day -- i felt like i "emptied" myself to the max...
so, let's fill up with some nouwen [while jimmy buffet sings and the red wine flows]...
henri shares: "God's compassion is not something abstract or indefinite, but a concrete, specific gesture in which God reaches out to us. in Jesus Christ we see the fullness of God's compassion. to us, who cry out from the depth of our brokenness for a hand that will touch us, an arm that can embrace us, lips that will kiss us, a word that speaks to us here and now, and a heart that is not afraid of our fears and tremblings; to us, who feel our own pain as no other human being feels it, has felt it, or ever will feel it and who are always waiting for someone who dares to come close -- to us a man has come who could truly say, "i am with you!" Jesus Christ, who is God-with-us, has come to us in the freedom of love, not needing to experience our human condition...in Jesus Christ the obedient servant, who did not cling his divinity but emptied himself and became as we are, God has revealed the fullness of his compassion. he is Immanuel, God-with-us. the great call we have heard is to live a compassionate life..."
the living out of the compassionate life of Jesus is to be found in incarnational ministry -- being present with people right where they are and letting Jesus love them through our presence [and our tangible body]...
think about it...
we are surrounded by real people who are...
craving a hand to touch them with gentleness and care...
craving an arm of encouragement to offer a warm embrace...
craving lips that will offer a tender and respectful kiss of affirmation...
craving a timely word of uplift...
craving a brave soul willing to join them in embracing their haunting and dark fears...
craving someone committed to spiritual intimacy -- one who draws close and stays put -- no matter what...
craving someone who is willing to be emptied out in compassion -- a spiritual friend who is faithful even in the valley of the shadow...
can you hear the call of Jesus echoing through the ages during this lenten season: "just as the Father sent me, now i am sending you!"
incarnational ministry...
"being Jesus" to our neighbors...
living the life of compassion...
tomorrow is a fresh oportunity to give our one and only life for something bigger than ourselves...
LET'S JUST DO IT!
shalom...
guy
better write something and get to bed...
today was a great day with hospice -- i connected deeply with five of my six patients -- we were able to get honest about the FEAR of dying...
deep conversations...
we shared some tears as we embraced our fears...
there were moments i could feel Jesus in the room with us -- what peace in the midst of the valley of the shadow of death...
i am going to write something soon on the great difference between DYING and BEING DEAD -- i am NOT afraid of being dead, but i am still very afraid of the process of dying [i think it's called being human]...
anyhow, very emotionally and spiritually draining day -- i felt like i "emptied" myself to the max...
so, let's fill up with some nouwen [while jimmy buffet sings and the red wine flows]...
henri shares: "God's compassion is not something abstract or indefinite, but a concrete, specific gesture in which God reaches out to us. in Jesus Christ we see the fullness of God's compassion. to us, who cry out from the depth of our brokenness for a hand that will touch us, an arm that can embrace us, lips that will kiss us, a word that speaks to us here and now, and a heart that is not afraid of our fears and tremblings; to us, who feel our own pain as no other human being feels it, has felt it, or ever will feel it and who are always waiting for someone who dares to come close -- to us a man has come who could truly say, "i am with you!" Jesus Christ, who is God-with-us, has come to us in the freedom of love, not needing to experience our human condition...in Jesus Christ the obedient servant, who did not cling his divinity but emptied himself and became as we are, God has revealed the fullness of his compassion. he is Immanuel, God-with-us. the great call we have heard is to live a compassionate life..."
the living out of the compassionate life of Jesus is to be found in incarnational ministry -- being present with people right where they are and letting Jesus love them through our presence [and our tangible body]...
think about it...
we are surrounded by real people who are...
craving a hand to touch them with gentleness and care...
craving an arm of encouragement to offer a warm embrace...
craving lips that will offer a tender and respectful kiss of affirmation...
craving a timely word of uplift...
craving a brave soul willing to join them in embracing their haunting and dark fears...
craving someone committed to spiritual intimacy -- one who draws close and stays put -- no matter what...
craving someone who is willing to be emptied out in compassion -- a spiritual friend who is faithful even in the valley of the shadow...
can you hear the call of Jesus echoing through the ages during this lenten season: "just as the Father sent me, now i am sending you!"
incarnational ministry...
"being Jesus" to our neighbors...
living the life of compassion...
tomorrow is a fresh oportunity to give our one and only life for something bigger than ourselves...
LET'S JUST DO IT!
shalom...
guy
Monday, March 16, 2009
day 20, lent 2009
we are halfway home on the lenten journey...
we are 20 days in from ash wednesday...
only 20 days until palm sunday...
then easter...
a thought for tonight...
i struggle with wanting notoriety -- wanting to be seen and given attention...
wanting to be important and significant -- craving recognition...
what about you?
i don't like the ancient spiritual discipline of secrecy -- it is, well, too hidden!
when i do something really spiritual, i want to be celebrated [in all humility of course -- ha! ha!]...
i don't like the fact that Jesus says secrecy and hiddenness are the keys to future reward -- i want my blessings BOTH now and later...
nouwen's thought today deals with this issue in Jesus' life -- his conscious and consistent decision to be low key -- refusing to grab the spotlight -- not always seeking to GO PUBLIC...
"people often talk as though God has as great a need for recognition as we do...now look at Jesus, who came to reveal God to us, and you see that popularity in any form is the very thing he avoids. he is constantly pointing out that God reveals himself in secrecy. it sounds very paradoxical, but accepting and, i would venture to say, entering into that paradox sets you on the road of the spiritual life..."
one closing thought...
i had breakfast today with a friend who is a jewish rabbi...
he is always saying brilliant stuff [because gabriel is brilliant], but today he spoke words of insight that enlightened me further on my desire to be a prophet [as expressed in yesterday's blog]...
gabriel shared the two roles of the prophet in the hebrew scriptures: "the prophet is called to trouble those who have become too comfortable -- then to encourage those who have been crushed."
sometimes my complacency screams out for a prophet [maybe like jeremiah] to come and bluntly trouble me...
other times i need the comfort of God's lap [as shared by isaiah] to encourage me and bring healing when i have been crushed by life...
shalom [as gabriel always writes when he signs off]...
guy
THANKS to everyone who is leaving your comments -- it is so encouraging...
we are 20 days in from ash wednesday...
only 20 days until palm sunday...
then easter...
a thought for tonight...
i struggle with wanting notoriety -- wanting to be seen and given attention...
wanting to be important and significant -- craving recognition...
what about you?
i don't like the ancient spiritual discipline of secrecy -- it is, well, too hidden!
when i do something really spiritual, i want to be celebrated [in all humility of course -- ha! ha!]...
i don't like the fact that Jesus says secrecy and hiddenness are the keys to future reward -- i want my blessings BOTH now and later...
nouwen's thought today deals with this issue in Jesus' life -- his conscious and consistent decision to be low key -- refusing to grab the spotlight -- not always seeking to GO PUBLIC...
"people often talk as though God has as great a need for recognition as we do...now look at Jesus, who came to reveal God to us, and you see that popularity in any form is the very thing he avoids. he is constantly pointing out that God reveals himself in secrecy. it sounds very paradoxical, but accepting and, i would venture to say, entering into that paradox sets you on the road of the spiritual life..."
one closing thought...
i had breakfast today with a friend who is a jewish rabbi...
he is always saying brilliant stuff [because gabriel is brilliant], but today he spoke words of insight that enlightened me further on my desire to be a prophet [as expressed in yesterday's blog]...
gabriel shared the two roles of the prophet in the hebrew scriptures: "the prophet is called to trouble those who have become too comfortable -- then to encourage those who have been crushed."
sometimes my complacency screams out for a prophet [maybe like jeremiah] to come and bluntly trouble me...
other times i need the comfort of God's lap [as shared by isaiah] to encourage me and bring healing when i have been crushed by life...
shalom [as gabriel always writes when he signs off]...
guy
THANKS to everyone who is leaving your comments -- it is so encouraging...
Sunday, March 15, 2009
day 19, Lent 2009 -- a bonus reflection...
sunday...
15 march 2009...
9 p.m.
we are almost halfway through lent 2009 -- tomorrow is day 20!
tonight, i am reflecting on turning 50 -- this week...
here is the reflection i just wrote for my CPE [clinical pastoral education] class...
I am turning 50 this Thursday…
It is Sunday night and I am sitting alone in our living room with a glass of red wine [for my cardiac health of course] winding down from a hectic weekend and trying to sort out just how I feel about this week’s birthday. Wish it wasn’t so hot – I would love to have a fire in the fireplace…
Today is day 19 of the 40 days of the Lenten Season 2009. I have been deeply reflecting on Henri Nouwen’s daily readings in his provocative little book "Show Me the Way" – each day his insights have freshly spoken to me. But not today – we didn’t connect. My words for today came from the musical prophet Jimmy Buffet on his CD "License to Chill". He grabbed me with his opening line: "It’s time for a change!" And he just wouldn’t let me go as he talked about "days precious days" and "letting the chips fall where they will" and "keeping hope afloat" and "sailing for those distant shores" and "I’ve got a boat to build" [I heard in that last lyric the reality that I still have work to do that means something]. But it was track 3 that nailed me spiritually: "I can’t see the future but I know it’s coming fast and it’s not that hard to wind up knee deep in the past…" Jimmy has me quite mellow and ready to reflect…
So, how do I feel about turning 50?
I feel some regret. I don’t think I even stopped to think about the really important stuff in life until my late forties – stuff like being a nurturing husband, an engaged dad, a faithful friend, etc. By the time I woke up, I was laying in ICU after a heart attack and trying to evaluate the collateral damage to my family, my calling and my soul. Sounds like I have wound up "knee deep in the past!" But I have moved on from this shame. I did the best I could with what I had at the time [for my first 40+ years]. I now allow the past to be my teacher so the future will be different [and better]. God is gracious – Nancy is still here and we plan on growing more mature together, my boys and I are closer and more open than we have ever been and my spirit is growing again. And, I have accepted the fact that, no matter how much progress I make, I will still be human and that is OK for the rest of my life…
I feel some anger – it is probably rooted in some lingering fears and some brand new ones that are life-stage related. I have discovered that I do not mind "being dead", but I am still afraid "to die" – the process haunts me. After working with hospice for 3 years, I now have a list of ways I do NOT want to die – I beg God not to let me gasp for air with COPD, or fade away over several years with Alzheimer’s Disease winding up afraid of life-long caregivers and fighting them as they try to love me, or experience the torture of uncontrollable pain, or have other people change my adult briefs [saying diapers is just too much at this point]! I wonder how many more good years I’ve got – 20, 25, 30 or ??? – but tonight, I have a license to chill and the hope to grow old gracefully…
But mostly I feel joy! In actuality, I have reflected more on this birthday than any other I can remember – and, I am overjoyed with the future. As I walked today, I rehearsed my new spiritual ambitions for the future – to be a "sage" [one committed to gaining and sharing wisdom], a "spiritual father" [one committed to nurture the coming generations], an "encourager" [one committed to build people up in their day-to-day lives], a "spiritual friend" [one committed to sharing the journey with spiritual pilgrims who passionately desire to know God], a "prophet" [one who talks less and listens to God more – and humbly shares the right thing in the right spirit at just the right moment], and a "godly husband", "dad" and "bold Christ-follower"… Different goals than before. Much better goals for the rest of the journey. God is shaping and forming my desires. I am convinced there is "something" about men and 50 [OK maybe the range is 45-55] – it is our season for spiritual awakening and "growing up!" Contrary to popular opinion, I contend we DO "grow up" – just a little later in the process of life…
Enough for now – more later – I am ready for another glass of red wine and some more Buffet!
have a great week...
SHALOM...
guy
15 march 2009...
9 p.m.
we are almost halfway through lent 2009 -- tomorrow is day 20!
tonight, i am reflecting on turning 50 -- this week...
here is the reflection i just wrote for my CPE [clinical pastoral education] class...
I am turning 50 this Thursday…
It is Sunday night and I am sitting alone in our living room with a glass of red wine [for my cardiac health of course] winding down from a hectic weekend and trying to sort out just how I feel about this week’s birthday. Wish it wasn’t so hot – I would love to have a fire in the fireplace…
Today is day 19 of the 40 days of the Lenten Season 2009. I have been deeply reflecting on Henri Nouwen’s daily readings in his provocative little book "Show Me the Way" – each day his insights have freshly spoken to me. But not today – we didn’t connect. My words for today came from the musical prophet Jimmy Buffet on his CD "License to Chill". He grabbed me with his opening line: "It’s time for a change!" And he just wouldn’t let me go as he talked about "days precious days" and "letting the chips fall where they will" and "keeping hope afloat" and "sailing for those distant shores" and "I’ve got a boat to build" [I heard in that last lyric the reality that I still have work to do that means something]. But it was track 3 that nailed me spiritually: "I can’t see the future but I know it’s coming fast and it’s not that hard to wind up knee deep in the past…" Jimmy has me quite mellow and ready to reflect…
So, how do I feel about turning 50?
I feel some regret. I don’t think I even stopped to think about the really important stuff in life until my late forties – stuff like being a nurturing husband, an engaged dad, a faithful friend, etc. By the time I woke up, I was laying in ICU after a heart attack and trying to evaluate the collateral damage to my family, my calling and my soul. Sounds like I have wound up "knee deep in the past!" But I have moved on from this shame. I did the best I could with what I had at the time [for my first 40+ years]. I now allow the past to be my teacher so the future will be different [and better]. God is gracious – Nancy is still here and we plan on growing more mature together, my boys and I are closer and more open than we have ever been and my spirit is growing again. And, I have accepted the fact that, no matter how much progress I make, I will still be human and that is OK for the rest of my life…
I feel some anger – it is probably rooted in some lingering fears and some brand new ones that are life-stage related. I have discovered that I do not mind "being dead", but I am still afraid "to die" – the process haunts me. After working with hospice for 3 years, I now have a list of ways I do NOT want to die – I beg God not to let me gasp for air with COPD, or fade away over several years with Alzheimer’s Disease winding up afraid of life-long caregivers and fighting them as they try to love me, or experience the torture of uncontrollable pain, or have other people change my adult briefs [saying diapers is just too much at this point]! I wonder how many more good years I’ve got – 20, 25, 30 or ??? – but tonight, I have a license to chill and the hope to grow old gracefully…
But mostly I feel joy! In actuality, I have reflected more on this birthday than any other I can remember – and, I am overjoyed with the future. As I walked today, I rehearsed my new spiritual ambitions for the future – to be a "sage" [one committed to gaining and sharing wisdom], a "spiritual father" [one committed to nurture the coming generations], an "encourager" [one committed to build people up in their day-to-day lives], a "spiritual friend" [one committed to sharing the journey with spiritual pilgrims who passionately desire to know God], a "prophet" [one who talks less and listens to God more – and humbly shares the right thing in the right spirit at just the right moment], and a "godly husband", "dad" and "bold Christ-follower"… Different goals than before. Much better goals for the rest of the journey. God is shaping and forming my desires. I am convinced there is "something" about men and 50 [OK maybe the range is 45-55] – it is our season for spiritual awakening and "growing up!" Contrary to popular opinion, I contend we DO "grow up" – just a little later in the process of life…
Enough for now – more later – I am ready for another glass of red wine and some more Buffet!
have a great week...
SHALOM...
guy
Saturday, March 14, 2009
day 18, lent 2009
saturday...
3.14.09...
10.45 p.m.
before reading further, please read the parable of the loving Father [or the two sons or the prodigal son] in luke 15.11-32...
in my mind, this story from Jesus is the essence of the good news...
i think it says it all...
i desperately need this good news, because i often identify with henri...
nouwen in SHOW ME THE WAY: "this is a story about returning. i reallize the importance of returning over and over again. my life drifts away from God. I have to return. Returning is a lifelong struggle...the voice of despair says, 'i sin over and over again. after endless promises to myself and others to do better next time, i find myself back again in the old dark places. forget about trying to change. i have tried for years. it didn't work and it will never work. it is better that i get out of people's way, be forgotten, no longer around, dead.' this strangely attractive voice takes all uncertainties away and puts an end to the struggle. it speaks unambiguously for the darkness and offers a clear-cut negative identity..."
not the voice to listen to...
the voice of darkness...
the condemning curse from the shadows...
the voice of mistaken identity -- claiming a negative personna...
lying to me -- saying i am worthless when, in fact, i am of infinite worth...
and so are YOU!
we are children of God -- let's listen to a different voice -- march to a different drummer...
Jesus is the prophet who tells this alternative story -- let's listen to him...
three reflections tonight on the Father's LOVE [to me this is the point of the parable]...
1. the Father's acceptance of the younger son [the prodigal who went away] is very remarkable because it is much more about the Father's welcome than the son's returning...
the son came home [and decided to repent] because he had exhausted all his other options...
he had tied a knot in the end of his rope and he was holding on for dear life!
daddy's estate is better than this pigpen -- time to head home...
pretty selfish stuff...
and yet the Father ran to him and restored him...
2. the Father's acceptance of the elder son [the prodigal who stayed home] is also very remarkable because he goes out to him...
he refuses to leave him battered by his own bitterness!
even when his son was disrespecting him greatly by refusing to come in -- the Father goes out to him...
even in the elder son's pettiness, the Father persisted...
wanting him to join the party...
THE KEY: salvation and rescue come from the FATHER -- neither of the prodigals had the capacity to get it done -- the key is the Father's lavish love of another kind...
3. when it is all said and done, the future kingdom is a party -- it will all be about joy, feasting and celebration...
the kingdom of God really is a PARTY [tony campolo was right]!
and it will commence when all of us lost prodigals are welcomed home by our Father who has rescued us by his love!
this is MY STORY and I AM STICKING TO IT!
shalom...
guy
happy sunday...
3.14.09...
10.45 p.m.
before reading further, please read the parable of the loving Father [or the two sons or the prodigal son] in luke 15.11-32...
in my mind, this story from Jesus is the essence of the good news...
i think it says it all...
i desperately need this good news, because i often identify with henri...
nouwen in SHOW ME THE WAY: "this is a story about returning. i reallize the importance of returning over and over again. my life drifts away from God. I have to return. Returning is a lifelong struggle...the voice of despair says, 'i sin over and over again. after endless promises to myself and others to do better next time, i find myself back again in the old dark places. forget about trying to change. i have tried for years. it didn't work and it will never work. it is better that i get out of people's way, be forgotten, no longer around, dead.' this strangely attractive voice takes all uncertainties away and puts an end to the struggle. it speaks unambiguously for the darkness and offers a clear-cut negative identity..."
not the voice to listen to...
the voice of darkness...
the condemning curse from the shadows...
the voice of mistaken identity -- claiming a negative personna...
lying to me -- saying i am worthless when, in fact, i am of infinite worth...
and so are YOU!
we are children of God -- let's listen to a different voice -- march to a different drummer...
Jesus is the prophet who tells this alternative story -- let's listen to him...
three reflections tonight on the Father's LOVE [to me this is the point of the parable]...
1. the Father's acceptance of the younger son [the prodigal who went away] is very remarkable because it is much more about the Father's welcome than the son's returning...
the son came home [and decided to repent] because he had exhausted all his other options...
he had tied a knot in the end of his rope and he was holding on for dear life!
daddy's estate is better than this pigpen -- time to head home...
pretty selfish stuff...
and yet the Father ran to him and restored him...
2. the Father's acceptance of the elder son [the prodigal who stayed home] is also very remarkable because he goes out to him...
he refuses to leave him battered by his own bitterness!
even when his son was disrespecting him greatly by refusing to come in -- the Father goes out to him...
even in the elder son's pettiness, the Father persisted...
wanting him to join the party...
THE KEY: salvation and rescue come from the FATHER -- neither of the prodigals had the capacity to get it done -- the key is the Father's lavish love of another kind...
3. when it is all said and done, the future kingdom is a party -- it will all be about joy, feasting and celebration...
the kingdom of God really is a PARTY [tony campolo was right]!
and it will commence when all of us lost prodigals are welcomed home by our Father who has rescued us by his love!
this is MY STORY and I AM STICKING TO IT!
shalom...
guy
happy sunday...
Friday, March 13, 2009
day 17, lent 2009
friday...
3.13.09 at 9.30 p.m.
a great friday the 13th...
words from nouwen: "for a christian is only a christian when he unceasingly asks critical questions of the society in which he lives and continuously stresses the necessity for conversion, not only of the individual but also of the world. a christian is only a christian when he refuses to allow himself or anyone else to settle into a comfortable rest. he remains dissatisfied with the status quo. and he believes that he has an essential role to play in the realization of the new world to come -- even if he cannot say how that world will come about. a christian is only a christian when he keeps saying to everyone he meets that the good news of the kingdom has to be proclaimed to the whole world and witnessed to all the nations [Matthew 24.13]."
have i "settled into a comfortable rest"?
do i "remain dissatisfied with the status quo"?
do i still hold to the kingdom dream that i have "an essential role to play in the realization of the new world to come"?
i am reminded of the truth of 1 corinthians 15.58: "therefore, my beloved, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord, because you know that in the Lord your labor is never in vain."
NEVER IN VAIN!
not now -- not forever...
i am not sure how, but i really believe that in some God-ordained way our kingdom labors TODAY [when done with purity of heart] translate / transfer into the parousia of TOMORROW...
our work for the Lord not only makes a difference now [in this world], but will also prove significant in the future [in the world to come]...
in the language of our culture, we really do "pay it forward..."
so, let's excel in the work of the kingdom -- for now and forever!
"may your kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven..."
shalom...
guy
have a great weekend!!!
3.13.09 at 9.30 p.m.
a great friday the 13th...
words from nouwen: "for a christian is only a christian when he unceasingly asks critical questions of the society in which he lives and continuously stresses the necessity for conversion, not only of the individual but also of the world. a christian is only a christian when he refuses to allow himself or anyone else to settle into a comfortable rest. he remains dissatisfied with the status quo. and he believes that he has an essential role to play in the realization of the new world to come -- even if he cannot say how that world will come about. a christian is only a christian when he keeps saying to everyone he meets that the good news of the kingdom has to be proclaimed to the whole world and witnessed to all the nations [Matthew 24.13]."
have i "settled into a comfortable rest"?
do i "remain dissatisfied with the status quo"?
do i still hold to the kingdom dream that i have "an essential role to play in the realization of the new world to come"?
i am reminded of the truth of 1 corinthians 15.58: "therefore, my beloved, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord, because you know that in the Lord your labor is never in vain."
NEVER IN VAIN!
not now -- not forever...
i am not sure how, but i really believe that in some God-ordained way our kingdom labors TODAY [when done with purity of heart] translate / transfer into the parousia of TOMORROW...
our work for the Lord not only makes a difference now [in this world], but will also prove significant in the future [in the world to come]...
in the language of our culture, we really do "pay it forward..."
so, let's excel in the work of the kingdom -- for now and forever!
"may your kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven..."
shalom...
guy
have a great weekend!!!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
day 16, lent 2009
thursday, 3.12.09...
9.45 p.m.
greetings!
tomorrow is FRIDAY -- awesome!
and, not a moment too soon...
tonight at our home church gathering at roma's in ybor city, leah led a great thought on "who we are when all our masks are stripped away..."
i had been thinking about this all day because of nouwen's lenten reflection that i had read this a.m. at breakfast...
from SHOW ME THE WAY: "it is not so difficult to see that, in our particular world, we all have a strong desire to accomplish something...practically all of us think about ourselves in terms of our contribution to life. and when we have become old, much of our feelings of happiness or sadness depends on our evaluation of the part we played in giving shape to our world and its history...we fall into the trap of our culture by wrongly thinking we are worthwhile because we have successes..."
how do we recover from "the erroneous conviction that our life is one large scoreboard where someone is listing the points to measure our worth" thereby "selling our soul to the many grade-givers"???
nouwen's answer: "it is in solitude that we become free to live IN the world without being OF it. a life without a lonely place, that is, a life without a quiet center, easily becomes destructive...in solitude we can listen to the voice of him who spoke to us before we could speak a word, who healed us before we could make any gesture to help, who set us free long before we could free others, and who loved us long before we could give love to anyone. it is in this solitude that we discover that being is more important than having, and that we are worth more than the result of our efforts. in solitude we discover that our life is not a possession to be defended, but a gift to be shared...in solitude we become aware that our worth is NOT the same as our usefulness."
do we have a "lonely place"?
a "quiet center"?
do we have an oasis of solitude where we can listen to Jesus???
during lent 2009, i am seeking to daily set aside 15 minutes for this opportunity...
maybe 15 minutes a day really can transform our lives...
shalom...
guy
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!
9.45 p.m.
greetings!
tomorrow is FRIDAY -- awesome!
and, not a moment too soon...
tonight at our home church gathering at roma's in ybor city, leah led a great thought on "who we are when all our masks are stripped away..."
i had been thinking about this all day because of nouwen's lenten reflection that i had read this a.m. at breakfast...
from SHOW ME THE WAY: "it is not so difficult to see that, in our particular world, we all have a strong desire to accomplish something...practically all of us think about ourselves in terms of our contribution to life. and when we have become old, much of our feelings of happiness or sadness depends on our evaluation of the part we played in giving shape to our world and its history...we fall into the trap of our culture by wrongly thinking we are worthwhile because we have successes..."
how do we recover from "the erroneous conviction that our life is one large scoreboard where someone is listing the points to measure our worth" thereby "selling our soul to the many grade-givers"???
nouwen's answer: "it is in solitude that we become free to live IN the world without being OF it. a life without a lonely place, that is, a life without a quiet center, easily becomes destructive...in solitude we can listen to the voice of him who spoke to us before we could speak a word, who healed us before we could make any gesture to help, who set us free long before we could free others, and who loved us long before we could give love to anyone. it is in this solitude that we discover that being is more important than having, and that we are worth more than the result of our efforts. in solitude we discover that our life is not a possession to be defended, but a gift to be shared...in solitude we become aware that our worth is NOT the same as our usefulness."
do we have a "lonely place"?
a "quiet center"?
do we have an oasis of solitude where we can listen to Jesus???
during lent 2009, i am seeking to daily set aside 15 minutes for this opportunity...
maybe 15 minutes a day really can transform our lives...
shalom...
guy
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
day 15, lent 2009
greetings!
i did get called out early this morning -- then went straight to work -- have been working all day -- just got through at 10 p.m.
get the fork -- i am about done!
but, here goes...
nouwen: "in his servanthood God does not disfigure himself, he does not take on something alien to himself, he does not act against or in spite of his divine self. on the contrary, it is in his servanthood that God chooses to reveal himself as God to us. therefore, we can say that the downward pull as we see this in Jesus Christ is not a movement away from God, but a movement toward him as he really is. a God for us who came not to rule but to serve. this implies very specifically that God does not want to be known except through servanthood and that, servanthood is God's self-revelation."
is servanthood my "self-revelation"???
how do people see me???
what is my claim to fame???
during lent, i will submit my heart to the blessing of servanthood afresh...
let's serve together...
shalom...
guy
have a great TH tomorrow...
i did get called out early this morning -- then went straight to work -- have been working all day -- just got through at 10 p.m.
get the fork -- i am about done!
but, here goes...
nouwen: "in his servanthood God does not disfigure himself, he does not take on something alien to himself, he does not act against or in spite of his divine self. on the contrary, it is in his servanthood that God chooses to reveal himself as God to us. therefore, we can say that the downward pull as we see this in Jesus Christ is not a movement away from God, but a movement toward him as he really is. a God for us who came not to rule but to serve. this implies very specifically that God does not want to be known except through servanthood and that, servanthood is God's self-revelation."
is servanthood my "self-revelation"???
how do people see me???
what is my claim to fame???
during lent, i will submit my heart to the blessing of servanthood afresh...
let's serve together...
shalom...
guy
have a great TH tomorrow...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
day 14, lent 2009
greetings!
we've got to stop meeting like this -- ha! ha!
i am on call tonight -- so i am trying to think and stare at my hospice phone at the same time...
being a male, i am not sure i can pull off two things at once...
so here goes...
nouwen says: "you are probably wondering how, in imitation of Jesus, you are to find this descending way [humility] of true greatness. that's a very personal and intimate question, and in the end i don't think that anyone can answer it but you. it's not simply a matter of renouncing your money, your possessions, your intellectual formation, or your friends or family. for some people, it has indeed meant this but only because they felt personally called to take that road. each one of us has to seek out his or her own descending way of love. that calls for much prayer, much patience, and much guidance. it has nothing at all to do with spiritual heroics, dramatically throwing everything overboard to 'follow' Jesus. the descending way is a way that is concealed in each person's heart. but because it is so seldom walked on, it's often overgrown with weeds. slowly but surely we have to clear the weeds, open the way, and set out on it unafraid. for me, this weeding out process is always related to prayer, because to pray is to make free time for God, even when you're very busy with important matters of one kind or another. every time you make free time for God, you clear up a bit of the descending path, and you see where you can plant your feet on the way of love."
the call to follow Jesus is a very personal call...
it is a call to greatness through downward mobility [see the ancient hymn about Jesus in philippians 2.5-11] -- totally contrary to the call of our culture to upward mobility...
there are no cookie-cutter followers -- we will all be unique in our walk -- the key is to follow Jesus in our own skin... to compare ourselves to others is not wise [it usually always leads to arrogance or self-denigration]. we are to answer OUR call -- not someone else's call...
we are blessed with mothers, fathers, mentors, models, etc.
but, there is NO place for copying others -- their walk is their walk -- our walk is to be our walk...
so, let us follow Jesus with all our uniqueness [and yet commit to walk together in community with one another]!
blessings!
guy
pray that i do NOT get called out tonight -- i would love to get some sleep...
we've got to stop meeting like this -- ha! ha!
i am on call tonight -- so i am trying to think and stare at my hospice phone at the same time...
being a male, i am not sure i can pull off two things at once...
so here goes...
nouwen says: "you are probably wondering how, in imitation of Jesus, you are to find this descending way [humility] of true greatness. that's a very personal and intimate question, and in the end i don't think that anyone can answer it but you. it's not simply a matter of renouncing your money, your possessions, your intellectual formation, or your friends or family. for some people, it has indeed meant this but only because they felt personally called to take that road. each one of us has to seek out his or her own descending way of love. that calls for much prayer, much patience, and much guidance. it has nothing at all to do with spiritual heroics, dramatically throwing everything overboard to 'follow' Jesus. the descending way is a way that is concealed in each person's heart. but because it is so seldom walked on, it's often overgrown with weeds. slowly but surely we have to clear the weeds, open the way, and set out on it unafraid. for me, this weeding out process is always related to prayer, because to pray is to make free time for God, even when you're very busy with important matters of one kind or another. every time you make free time for God, you clear up a bit of the descending path, and you see where you can plant your feet on the way of love."
the call to follow Jesus is a very personal call...
it is a call to greatness through downward mobility [see the ancient hymn about Jesus in philippians 2.5-11] -- totally contrary to the call of our culture to upward mobility...
there are no cookie-cutter followers -- we will all be unique in our walk -- the key is to follow Jesus in our own skin... to compare ourselves to others is not wise [it usually always leads to arrogance or self-denigration]. we are to answer OUR call -- not someone else's call...
we are blessed with mothers, fathers, mentors, models, etc.
but, there is NO place for copying others -- their walk is their walk -- our walk is to be our walk...
so, let us follow Jesus with all our uniqueness [and yet commit to walk together in community with one another]!
blessings!
guy
pray that i do NOT get called out tonight -- i would love to get some sleep...
Monday, March 9, 2009
day 13, lent 2009
greetings!
no doubt this was a monday [and a very long one at that]...
it is late, so i will be brief...
nouwen in SHOW ME THE WAY: "compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human. it is not surprising that compassion, understood as suffering with, often evokes in us a deep resistance and even protest...it is important for us to acknowledge this resistance and to recognize that suffering is not something we desire or to which we are attracted. on the contrary, it is something we want to avoid at all costs. therefore, compassion is not among our most natural responses. we are pain-avoiders and we consider anyone who feels attracted to suffering abnormal, or at least very unusual."
two thoughts...
the first was spoken so powerfully by pastor brian at the tampa underground on sunday morning when he made the point that sometimes God blesses us with suffering. suffering can be God's way of growing us, deepening us and shaping us for his kingdom purposes. we can suffer while we are in the center of his will...
so, while i am often praying passionately for DELIVERANCE from suffering [as a curse from the evil one], maybe i should stop running and EMBRACE the momentary pain [as a blessed tool from a wise and loving Father]! the embrace insures that God's purposes will be maximized -- my trust in the Father welcomes his plan regardless!
maybe, just maybe, it is for my blessing -- a gift from the powerful and personal God who is always working everything together for our highest good...
THANK YOU BRIAN!
in closing, i think we are in for economic hard times like NOTHING we have ever seen or experienced -- i do not believe our nation will continue to be blessed as we make major financial decisions which are directly contrary to biblical truth -- many people will soon taste the bitter fruit of poverty, need and desperation...
maybe it will even be some of US...
my opinion only...
this will be very bad at one level, but...
what a blessing this season of suffering can be for our opportunity to share the good news through living out the compassion of Jesus to those whose hearts are shriveling up due to fear and hopelessness!
are we ready for a time of kingdom growth?
are we ready to share our food?
are we ready to share our money?
are we ready to share our clothes?
are we ready to share our hearts?
are we ready to love with God's love of another kind [in both action and word]?
the bottom line -- will we welcome suffering, even if it touches us, if this is God's way of bringing many prodigals home to himself???
i say YES LORD!
blessings!
guy
more tomorrow...
no doubt this was a monday [and a very long one at that]...
it is late, so i will be brief...
nouwen in SHOW ME THE WAY: "compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human. it is not surprising that compassion, understood as suffering with, often evokes in us a deep resistance and even protest...it is important for us to acknowledge this resistance and to recognize that suffering is not something we desire or to which we are attracted. on the contrary, it is something we want to avoid at all costs. therefore, compassion is not among our most natural responses. we are pain-avoiders and we consider anyone who feels attracted to suffering abnormal, or at least very unusual."
two thoughts...
the first was spoken so powerfully by pastor brian at the tampa underground on sunday morning when he made the point that sometimes God blesses us with suffering. suffering can be God's way of growing us, deepening us and shaping us for his kingdom purposes. we can suffer while we are in the center of his will...
so, while i am often praying passionately for DELIVERANCE from suffering [as a curse from the evil one], maybe i should stop running and EMBRACE the momentary pain [as a blessed tool from a wise and loving Father]! the embrace insures that God's purposes will be maximized -- my trust in the Father welcomes his plan regardless!
maybe, just maybe, it is for my blessing -- a gift from the powerful and personal God who is always working everything together for our highest good...
THANK YOU BRIAN!
in closing, i think we are in for economic hard times like NOTHING we have ever seen or experienced -- i do not believe our nation will continue to be blessed as we make major financial decisions which are directly contrary to biblical truth -- many people will soon taste the bitter fruit of poverty, need and desperation...
maybe it will even be some of US...
my opinion only...
this will be very bad at one level, but...
what a blessing this season of suffering can be for our opportunity to share the good news through living out the compassion of Jesus to those whose hearts are shriveling up due to fear and hopelessness!
are we ready for a time of kingdom growth?
are we ready to share our food?
are we ready to share our money?
are we ready to share our clothes?
are we ready to share our hearts?
are we ready to love with God's love of another kind [in both action and word]?
the bottom line -- will we welcome suffering, even if it touches us, if this is God's way of bringing many prodigals home to himself???
i say YES LORD!
blessings!
guy
more tomorrow...
Sunday, March 8, 2009
day 12, lent 2009
well, the weekend is almost gone...
too fast -- as always...
worship at the tampa underground was awesome today, but sometimes [for me at least] communion is THE BEST...
brian did an awesome job inviting the family to the table today...
there is something about the sacrament -- receiving God's grace is such a tangible way -- the bread and the cup...
Jesus' body broken for my wholeness...
Jesus' life poured out for my fullness of life...
i love the eucharist -- the table of thanksgiving...
God knew what he was doing when he gave us this family celebration...
nouwen says: "when we break bread together, we reveal to each other the real story of Christ's life and our lives in him. Jesus took bread, blessed it, broke it, and gave it to his friends...the breaking of the bread is the celebration, the making present, of Christ's story as well as our own. in the taking, blessing, breaking, and giving of the bread, the mystery of Christ's life is expressed in the most succinct way...when we eat the bread and drink wine together in memory of Christ, we become intimately related to his own compassionate life. in fact, we 'become' his life and are thus enabled to represent his life in our time and place."
i had a moment after church today where i felt like a representative of Jesus...
i thought of mr williams while the whole family [the boys are home on spring break]ate lunch today at rockin-sports in ybor city...
mr williams lives in a small hovel in one of the worst sections of inner city tampa. his room is about 8x12 [yes really] -- almost all his life happens there -- i bet the walls always seem to be closing in on him.
he has very little -- guess you could say he is poor...
his church delivers one covered dish meal per day -- monday through friday -- his only sustenance throughout the week...
i asked him the other day: "so what do you do for food over the weekend?"
mr williams looked at me, smiled and responded: "i waits for monday..."
that was 3 weeks ago...
every weekend since, God has brought him to my mind on saturday or sunday [even though i usually never think about hospice over the weekend]...
the first weekend was homemade beans and sausage that i cooked in the crockpot...
last weekend it was a big plate of BBQ from a family reunion over in plant city...
today it was a burger and fries from rockin-sports...
delivered with love every weekend -- what a joy for me...
he was so thrilled today, but he was not nearly as blessed as me...
i think this is what Jesus would have done today...
i am so pumped that he allowed me to be his representative to his beloved son mr williams over on 30th street in the 'hood!
blessings!
guy
good luck with monday -- ha! ha!
too fast -- as always...
worship at the tampa underground was awesome today, but sometimes [for me at least] communion is THE BEST...
brian did an awesome job inviting the family to the table today...
there is something about the sacrament -- receiving God's grace is such a tangible way -- the bread and the cup...
Jesus' body broken for my wholeness...
Jesus' life poured out for my fullness of life...
i love the eucharist -- the table of thanksgiving...
God knew what he was doing when he gave us this family celebration...
nouwen says: "when we break bread together, we reveal to each other the real story of Christ's life and our lives in him. Jesus took bread, blessed it, broke it, and gave it to his friends...the breaking of the bread is the celebration, the making present, of Christ's story as well as our own. in the taking, blessing, breaking, and giving of the bread, the mystery of Christ's life is expressed in the most succinct way...when we eat the bread and drink wine together in memory of Christ, we become intimately related to his own compassionate life. in fact, we 'become' his life and are thus enabled to represent his life in our time and place."
i had a moment after church today where i felt like a representative of Jesus...
i thought of mr williams while the whole family [the boys are home on spring break]ate lunch today at rockin-sports in ybor city...
mr williams lives in a small hovel in one of the worst sections of inner city tampa. his room is about 8x12 [yes really] -- almost all his life happens there -- i bet the walls always seem to be closing in on him.
he has very little -- guess you could say he is poor...
his church delivers one covered dish meal per day -- monday through friday -- his only sustenance throughout the week...
i asked him the other day: "so what do you do for food over the weekend?"
mr williams looked at me, smiled and responded: "i waits for monday..."
that was 3 weeks ago...
every weekend since, God has brought him to my mind on saturday or sunday [even though i usually never think about hospice over the weekend]...
the first weekend was homemade beans and sausage that i cooked in the crockpot...
last weekend it was a big plate of BBQ from a family reunion over in plant city...
today it was a burger and fries from rockin-sports...
delivered with love every weekend -- what a joy for me...
he was so thrilled today, but he was not nearly as blessed as me...
i think this is what Jesus would have done today...
i am so pumped that he allowed me to be his representative to his beloved son mr williams over on 30th street in the 'hood!
blessings!
guy
good luck with monday -- ha! ha!
Saturday, March 7, 2009
day 11, lenten 2009
happy saturday!
Jesus said: "love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who treat you badly..."
nouwen comments: "these sayings express not only the essence of nonviolent resistance, but also the heart of Jesus' preaching. if anyone should ask you what are the most radical words in the gospel, you need not hesitate to reply: 'love your enemies.' it's these words that reveal to us most clearly the kind of love proclaimed by Jesus. in these words we have the clearest expression of what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. love for one's enemy is the touchstone of being a christian."
who are our "enemies"?
how well do we love our "enemies"?
three thoughts...
enemies are people who are against us and attempt to make our lives miserable...
enemies are people who have different thoughts and idealogies than we do and usually attempt to impose these unpleasant ideas and foreign practices on us...
enemies are people who serve a different Master and espouse a conflicting worldview to ours -- kingdoms in conflict...
no wonder the love of enemies is so radical...
but how -- how do we love our enemies [as Jesus did]???
with a heart that wants each of them to find their way home...
that is what we pray for...
that is why we befriend them...
that is why we pursue them...
that is why we serve them...
that is why we love them with Jesus' love of another kind...
during this lenten season, let's seek to be world-class lovers!
blessings!
guy
remember to "spring" your clock forward TONIGHT...
Jesus said: "love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who treat you badly..."
nouwen comments: "these sayings express not only the essence of nonviolent resistance, but also the heart of Jesus' preaching. if anyone should ask you what are the most radical words in the gospel, you need not hesitate to reply: 'love your enemies.' it's these words that reveal to us most clearly the kind of love proclaimed by Jesus. in these words we have the clearest expression of what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. love for one's enemy is the touchstone of being a christian."
who are our "enemies"?
how well do we love our "enemies"?
three thoughts...
enemies are people who are against us and attempt to make our lives miserable...
enemies are people who have different thoughts and idealogies than we do and usually attempt to impose these unpleasant ideas and foreign practices on us...
enemies are people who serve a different Master and espouse a conflicting worldview to ours -- kingdoms in conflict...
no wonder the love of enemies is so radical...
but how -- how do we love our enemies [as Jesus did]???
with a heart that wants each of them to find their way home...
that is what we pray for...
that is why we befriend them...
that is why we pursue them...
that is why we serve them...
that is why we love them with Jesus' love of another kind...
during this lenten season, let's seek to be world-class lovers!
blessings!
guy
remember to "spring" your clock forward TONIGHT...
Friday, March 6, 2009
day 10, lenten 2009
TGIF!
nouwen states: "this morning, i meditated on God's eagerness to forgive me...in the midst of all my distractions, i was touched by God's desire to forgive me again and again. if i return to God with a repentant heart after i have sinned, God is always there to embrace me and let me start afresh..."
he continues later: "it is hard for me to forgive someone who has really offended me, especially when it happens more than once. i begin to doubt the sincerity of the one who asks forgiveness for a second, third, or fourth time. but God does not keep count. God just waits for our return, without resentment or desire for revenge. God wants us home..."
sometimes i wonder if God will run out of grace for me -- especially in some areas where the same sin brutalizes me over and over again...
sometimes i wonder if i should just stop asking for forgiveness -- surely he must be sick of me coming back again and again...
sometimes i wonder if God will just give up on me -- abandon me to my own fallenness...
do you ever have thoughts like these???
bad news...these haunting thoughts...
but, there is good news...
nouwen proclaims it clearly above -- God welcomes all of us prodigals back to himself -- he just wants us home!
so does scripture...
"as the distance of east from west, so far from us does he put our sin..."
"the Lord is compassion and love, slow to anger and rich in mercy..."
"the love of the Lord is everlasting..."
how great is God's love for me -- for us!!!
praise the Lord!
blessings!
guy
have a great weekend...
nouwen states: "this morning, i meditated on God's eagerness to forgive me...in the midst of all my distractions, i was touched by God's desire to forgive me again and again. if i return to God with a repentant heart after i have sinned, God is always there to embrace me and let me start afresh..."
he continues later: "it is hard for me to forgive someone who has really offended me, especially when it happens more than once. i begin to doubt the sincerity of the one who asks forgiveness for a second, third, or fourth time. but God does not keep count. God just waits for our return, without resentment or desire for revenge. God wants us home..."
sometimes i wonder if God will run out of grace for me -- especially in some areas where the same sin brutalizes me over and over again...
sometimes i wonder if i should just stop asking for forgiveness -- surely he must be sick of me coming back again and again...
sometimes i wonder if God will just give up on me -- abandon me to my own fallenness...
do you ever have thoughts like these???
bad news...these haunting thoughts...
but, there is good news...
nouwen proclaims it clearly above -- God welcomes all of us prodigals back to himself -- he just wants us home!
so does scripture...
"as the distance of east from west, so far from us does he put our sin..."
"the Lord is compassion and love, slow to anger and rich in mercy..."
"the love of the Lord is everlasting..."
how great is God's love for me -- for us!!!
praise the Lord!
blessings!
guy
have a great weekend...
Thursday, March 5, 2009
day 9. lenten 2009
greetings!
wanted to get this to you before our simple church meets at Roma's in Ybor [7 pm] for our weekly TH night "family" gathering...
nouwen says: "everything we know about Jesus indicates that he was concerned with only one thing -- to do the will of his Father. Nothing in the gospels is as impressive as Jesus' single-minded obedience to his Father... Jesus is the obedient one. the center of his life is this obedient relationship with the Father."
obedience is a manifestation of love -- plain and simple...
john says that the one who really loves also obeys God's commandments!
i can say I LOVE YOU with great ease [and sometimes with questionable sincerety], BUT "the proof is in the pudding" when it comes to substance -- is there any fruit?
words are great, but i crave more...
i want to be one who loves in deed as well as in word...
one who loves with bold and sacrificial actions desiring to experience the coming of the kingdom...even so COME NOW!
during the lenten season, i will pray for a love for God so deep and intimate that i am transformed to the point where obedience is the only reasonable resulting lifestyle...
blessings!
guy
thank God it is almost friday...
wanted to get this to you before our simple church meets at Roma's in Ybor [7 pm] for our weekly TH night "family" gathering...
nouwen says: "everything we know about Jesus indicates that he was concerned with only one thing -- to do the will of his Father. Nothing in the gospels is as impressive as Jesus' single-minded obedience to his Father... Jesus is the obedient one. the center of his life is this obedient relationship with the Father."
obedience is a manifestation of love -- plain and simple...
john says that the one who really loves also obeys God's commandments!
i can say I LOVE YOU with great ease [and sometimes with questionable sincerety], BUT "the proof is in the pudding" when it comes to substance -- is there any fruit?
words are great, but i crave more...
i want to be one who loves in deed as well as in word...
one who loves with bold and sacrificial actions desiring to experience the coming of the kingdom...even so COME NOW!
during the lenten season, i will pray for a love for God so deep and intimate that i am transformed to the point where obedience is the only reasonable resulting lifestyle...
blessings!
guy
thank God it is almost friday...
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
day 8, lenten 2009
good evening...
nouwen, in SHOW ME THE WAY, says: "as soon as i say , 'God exists,' my existence no longer can remain in the center, because the essence of the knowledge of God reveals my own existence as deriving its total being from him. That is the true conversion experience. i no longer let the knowledge of my existence be the center... the converted person sees, hears, and understands with a divine eye, a divine ear, a divine heart. the converted person knows himself or herself and all the world in God. the converted person is where God is, and from that place everything matters: giving water, clothing the naked, working for a new world order, saying a prayer, smiling at a child, reading a book, and sleeping in peace. all has become different while all remains the same..."
just how "converted" am i?
too often i am still at the center of my life [not God]...
too often really important things don't matter much to me [even though God fills this entire world and so everything matters]...
too often my conversion is more of religion [than of the spiritual]...
maybe i need to be delivered from religion so i can experience spiritual conversion!
may this lenten season firmly establish Jesus at my center -- in my core...
i want to be thoroughly converted so the life of Jesus is unmistakably manifest -- i want to see the fruit and i want to share the fruit...
how about you???
blessings!
guy
have a great TH...
nouwen, in SHOW ME THE WAY, says: "as soon as i say , 'God exists,' my existence no longer can remain in the center, because the essence of the knowledge of God reveals my own existence as deriving its total being from him. That is the true conversion experience. i no longer let the knowledge of my existence be the center... the converted person sees, hears, and understands with a divine eye, a divine ear, a divine heart. the converted person knows himself or herself and all the world in God. the converted person is where God is, and from that place everything matters: giving water, clothing the naked, working for a new world order, saying a prayer, smiling at a child, reading a book, and sleeping in peace. all has become different while all remains the same..."
just how "converted" am i?
too often i am still at the center of my life [not God]...
too often really important things don't matter much to me [even though God fills this entire world and so everything matters]...
too often my conversion is more of religion [than of the spiritual]...
maybe i need to be delivered from religion so i can experience spiritual conversion!
may this lenten season firmly establish Jesus at my center -- in my core...
i want to be thoroughly converted so the life of Jesus is unmistakably manifest -- i want to see the fruit and i want to share the fruit...
how about you???
blessings!
guy
have a great TH...
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
day 7, lent 2009
greetings!
nouwen states: "the crisis of our prayer life is that our mind may be filled with ideas about God while our heart remains far from him."
we can be so cerebral...
our brain is probably only about 18 inches or so from our heart, but sometimes that seems like an insurmountable gulf...
we so easily live in our minds -- neglecting our heart...
almost every church i have ever attended or pastored would rather take another class on almost anything [e.g. sharing our faith, caring for the poor, feeding the hungry, visiting the prisoners, managing our money, using our gifts, starting a home church, growing up in Christ, etc.] THANK ACTUALLY DOING IT!!!
i call it the paralyzation of the church...
i have heard it so often: "we are just not ready -- we need more training!"
MORE training -- you gotta be joking!
for the most part, i believe most of us [certainly me included] are educated far beyond our intellligence level already...
it is so much easier to cram our mind full than to pour out our heart until it is empty and spent and used up...
i love what john wimber [founder of the vineyard movement] used to say: "just do the stuff -- that Jesus stuff..."
maybe we know enough -- could it be time to act -- right now during lent?
maybe we could learn better on-the-job -- there are people all around us who need love -- what holds us back?
maybe Jesus is sending us -- not to another class, but to white fields ready for a harvest?
let's listen -- i think Jesus may be breathing the Spirit our way: "as the Father sent me, NOW i am sending you!"
nouwen closes: "finally, listen to your heart. it's there that Jesus speaks most intimately to you. praying is first and foremost listening to Jesus, who dwells in the very depth of your heart. he doesn't shout. he doesn't thrust himself upon you. his voice is an unassuming voice, very nearly a whisper, the voice of a gentle love. whatever you do with your life, go on listening to the voice of Jesus in your heart. this listening must be an active and very attentive listening, for in our restless and noisy world God's so loving voice is easily drowned out. you need to set aside some time every day for this listening to God if only for ten minutes. Ten minutes each day for Jesus alone can bring about a radical change in your life...if you stick to your daily prayer time, then slowly but surely you'll come to hear the gentle voice of love and will long more and more to listen to it."
i am going to stop writing and sit in front of the fireplace and LISTEN before i go to bed...
maybe you will want to do so as well...
blessings!
guy
FIRE > READY > AIM [maybe that is better than ready > aim > fire]!
nouwen states: "the crisis of our prayer life is that our mind may be filled with ideas about God while our heart remains far from him."
we can be so cerebral...
our brain is probably only about 18 inches or so from our heart, but sometimes that seems like an insurmountable gulf...
we so easily live in our minds -- neglecting our heart...
almost every church i have ever attended or pastored would rather take another class on almost anything [e.g. sharing our faith, caring for the poor, feeding the hungry, visiting the prisoners, managing our money, using our gifts, starting a home church, growing up in Christ, etc.] THANK ACTUALLY DOING IT!!!
i call it the paralyzation of the church...
i have heard it so often: "we are just not ready -- we need more training!"
MORE training -- you gotta be joking!
for the most part, i believe most of us [certainly me included] are educated far beyond our intellligence level already...
it is so much easier to cram our mind full than to pour out our heart until it is empty and spent and used up...
i love what john wimber [founder of the vineyard movement] used to say: "just do the stuff -- that Jesus stuff..."
maybe we know enough -- could it be time to act -- right now during lent?
maybe we could learn better on-the-job -- there are people all around us who need love -- what holds us back?
maybe Jesus is sending us -- not to another class, but to white fields ready for a harvest?
let's listen -- i think Jesus may be breathing the Spirit our way: "as the Father sent me, NOW i am sending you!"
nouwen closes: "finally, listen to your heart. it's there that Jesus speaks most intimately to you. praying is first and foremost listening to Jesus, who dwells in the very depth of your heart. he doesn't shout. he doesn't thrust himself upon you. his voice is an unassuming voice, very nearly a whisper, the voice of a gentle love. whatever you do with your life, go on listening to the voice of Jesus in your heart. this listening must be an active and very attentive listening, for in our restless and noisy world God's so loving voice is easily drowned out. you need to set aside some time every day for this listening to God if only for ten minutes. Ten minutes each day for Jesus alone can bring about a radical change in your life...if you stick to your daily prayer time, then slowly but surely you'll come to hear the gentle voice of love and will long more and more to listen to it."
i am going to stop writing and sit in front of the fireplace and LISTEN before i go to bed...
maybe you will want to do so as well...
blessings!
guy
FIRE > READY > AIM [maybe that is better than ready > aim > fire]!
Monday, March 2, 2009
day 6, lent 2009
good evening...
long day with CPE [Clinical Pastoral Education] class and work responsibilities, so this will be short [for sure] and sweet [hopefully]...
I love this prayer that nouwen shares from charles de foucauld:
"Father,
i abandon myself into your hands;
do with me what you will.
whatever you may do, i thank you;
i am ready for all, i accept all.
let only your will be done in me,
and in all your creatures.
i wish no more than this,
o Lord.
into your hands i commend my soul;
i offer it to you with all the love
of my heart.
for i love you, Lord,
and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into your hands,
without reserve
and with boundless confidence.
for you are my Father."
amen, amen and amen!
sweet dreams...
guy
long day with CPE [Clinical Pastoral Education] class and work responsibilities, so this will be short [for sure] and sweet [hopefully]...
I love this prayer that nouwen shares from charles de foucauld:
"Father,
i abandon myself into your hands;
do with me what you will.
whatever you may do, i thank you;
i am ready for all, i accept all.
let only your will be done in me,
and in all your creatures.
i wish no more than this,
o Lord.
into your hands i commend my soul;
i offer it to you with all the love
of my heart.
for i love you, Lord,
and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into your hands,
without reserve
and with boundless confidence.
for you are my Father."
amen, amen and amen!
sweet dreams...
guy
Sunday, March 1, 2009
day 5, lenten season 2009
happy sunday morning!
i am excited about worship this morning at the tampa underground church...
nouwen really spoke to me this morning [and he sounded remarkably like nancy as we talked last night about who we are and what God is calling us to do with our post-50 lives]...
"Jesus' primary concern was to be obedient to his Father, to live constantly in his presence. ONLY THEN did it become clear to him what his task was in his relationships with people. Perhaps we must continually remind ourselves that the first commandment requiring us to love God with all of our heart, all our soul and all our mind is indeed THE FIRST. I wonder if we really believe this. It seems that in fact we live as if we should give as much of our heart, soul and mind as possible to our fellow human beings, while trying hard not to forget God. At least we feel that our attention should be divided evenly between God and our neighbor. But Jesus' claim is much more radical. He asks for a single-minded commitment to God and God alone. God wants all of our heart, all of our mind and all of our soul. It is this unconditional and unreserved love for God that leads to the care for our neighbor, not as an activity which distracts us from God or competes with our attention to God, but as an expression of our love for God who reveals himself to us as the God of all people. It is in God that we find our neighbors and discover our responsibility to them. We might even say that ONLY IN GOD does our neighbor become a neighbor rather than an infringement upon our autonomy, and that ONLY IN GOD and THROUGH GOD does service become possible."
i am a person of action...
sometimes TOO MUCH ACTION and not enough stillness, meditation, reflection, etc.
i need more BEING WITH GOD time to define what HIS action is for my one and only life -- not just pursuing what i think is best [or what other people lay on me]...
i will be 50 on march 19 -- there is not enough time left for uncertainty -- i want God's voice to lead me into HIS ACTIONS!
for all you rednecks -- i am ready to be a rifle for God [not a shotgun]...
THANKS to henri [and even moreso to nancy] for the reminder!
blessings!
guy
i am excited about worship this morning at the tampa underground church...
nouwen really spoke to me this morning [and he sounded remarkably like nancy as we talked last night about who we are and what God is calling us to do with our post-50 lives]...
"Jesus' primary concern was to be obedient to his Father, to live constantly in his presence. ONLY THEN did it become clear to him what his task was in his relationships with people. Perhaps we must continually remind ourselves that the first commandment requiring us to love God with all of our heart, all our soul and all our mind is indeed THE FIRST. I wonder if we really believe this. It seems that in fact we live as if we should give as much of our heart, soul and mind as possible to our fellow human beings, while trying hard not to forget God. At least we feel that our attention should be divided evenly between God and our neighbor. But Jesus' claim is much more radical. He asks for a single-minded commitment to God and God alone. God wants all of our heart, all of our mind and all of our soul. It is this unconditional and unreserved love for God that leads to the care for our neighbor, not as an activity which distracts us from God or competes with our attention to God, but as an expression of our love for God who reveals himself to us as the God of all people. It is in God that we find our neighbors and discover our responsibility to them. We might even say that ONLY IN GOD does our neighbor become a neighbor rather than an infringement upon our autonomy, and that ONLY IN GOD and THROUGH GOD does service become possible."
i am a person of action...
sometimes TOO MUCH ACTION and not enough stillness, meditation, reflection, etc.
i need more BEING WITH GOD time to define what HIS action is for my one and only life -- not just pursuing what i think is best [or what other people lay on me]...
i will be 50 on march 19 -- there is not enough time left for uncertainty -- i want God's voice to lead me into HIS ACTIONS!
for all you rednecks -- i am ready to be a rifle for God [not a shotgun]...
THANKS to henri [and even moreso to nancy] for the reminder!
blessings!
guy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
