Lent day 8

greetings...

last wednesday was ash wednesday -- the beginning of the lenten season...

we have been sharing this journey for a week now...

how are we doing with our secrets?

what about our shadow?

i am struggling to make sense of it -- to move forward...

this seems to be a life season where i need to make some sense of my struggling side...

how about you???

i love what nouwen says...

"Bringing our secrets into the light...

We all have our secrets: thoughts, memories, feelings that we keep to ourselves.

Often we think, 'If people knew what I feel or think, they would not love me.'

These carefully kept secrets can do us much harm.

They can make us feel guilty or ashamed and may lead us to self-rejection, depression, and even suicidal thoughts and actions.

One of the most important things we can do with our secrets is to share them in a safe place, with people we trust.

When we have a good way to bring our secrets into the light and can look at them with others, we will quickly discover that we are not alone with our secrets and that our trusting friends will love us more deeply and more intimately than before.

Bringing our secrets into the light creates community and inner healing.

As a result of sharing secrets, not only will others love us better but we will love ourselves more fully."

i asked a friend who is struggling along with me a question i think we all need to hear and engage...

"can you imagine doing or being ANYTHING that would make God -- and your closest friends -- reject or turn away from you???"

what would you say???

my friend could not say NO -- she said YES -- i am praying that this changes for her...

i think it must change for her life to be what she craves...

i can now say NO [most all of the time] -- God's love is coming through that powerfully -- FINALLY!

i am growing more secure in my authentic identity as a beloved son of the Father...

the more i live in that foundational identity -- the less i am tempted to live my life to please others [and the more i desire to please the Father]...

when i am immersed in that kind of love...

secrets are shared [and lose their power]...

my shadow is accepted [and does not take control]...

my whole being is affirmed [and i can receive the holiness / wholeness of Jesus]...

i guess the victories will come one day at a time...

Jesus and i made it through today...

tomorrow is another day...

there will be enough grace for the morning when it arrives [after a good night's sleep]...

maybe we would all be better off to receive God's "present" and...

live one day at a time...

pax...

guy

a side note...

one of my favorite patients turned 50 yesterday...

what a blessing...

when i first met her at the end of 2008, i didn't think she would make 2009...

but she did and she is still going...

guess God really is in control [although she has breast, brain, lung, bone and marrow concer]...

we celebrated the BIG 50 -- my family bought her a little CD player for her new apartment -- she said the place needed some music...

i am so glad barbara is in God's hands...