surrender

the battle rages...my true self versus my false self...

my true self originates in the ZOE [spiritual] LIFE that comes from God -- that part of me that wants to SURRENDER all to God -- willingness to do his will and only his will [radically, totally and continually] -- focusing first and foremost on relational connection and pleasing God [not all the competing voices in my life]...

but, then there is my false self -- that part of me that wants to be God [or at least control my life and probably yours as well] - this tyrant pushes me toward willfulness -- my will is preeminent -- i become consumed by power, place, possessions, selfishness, etc.

this year, i want to face this battle and WIN -- live my life out of my true self -- moment-by-moment SURRENDERING my being to God -- what a statement of trust, humility, love...

to quote Dr Gary Moon, "maybe saying to God AS YOU WISH is the best way to really say I LOVE YOU!

so what does living out of my true self mean for MINISTRY in 2009...

consider this from Brennan Manning in REFLECTIONS FOR RAGAMUFFINS for 1.3.09: "Stubbornly to stand still when the Lord is clearly challenging us to growth is hardheartedness, infidelity, and a dangerous lack of trust. But to start trekking across the desert impulsively without the guidance of the cloud and fire is reckless folly. When God's call is not clarified and the inner voice remains indistinct, our restlessness and interior disquiet may be signaling a new exodus into greater openness, vulnerability, and compassion, a deeper purity of heart, a transformed mind and spirit. The landscape of the American church is littered with burned-out bodies and abortive ministries born of unhealthy guilt and fear of resisting God's will"

I am looking forward to the journey in 2009 -- my prayer is to listen and to live in SURRENDER!