Advent day 2 -- Monday, 11.30.09

Greetings!

What did you think of day 1?

I actually spent some time today trying to get outside myself -- to live beyond ME --to make sure I was NOT the focus of attention -- I intentionally sat through one meeting telling myself to minimize [keeping quiet and listening more to others] rather than maximize my presence...

I find it way too easy to make life all about me...

How about you?

I imagined my over-reaching EGO on a leash today -- and my TRUE SELF released to engage others -- seeking to serve the six hospice patients I interacted with today in a way that shifted the spotlight to them...

And, I will try it again tomorrow...

Three thoughts for tonight...

From Henri Nouwen: "God choose powerlessness. God chose to enter into human history in complete weakness. That divine choice forms the center of the Christian faith. In Jesus of Nazareth, the powerless God appeared among us to UNMASK the illusion of power, to disarm the prince of darkness who rules the world, and to bring the divided human race to a new unity..."

Ministry is INCARNATIONAL for me -- seeking in very broken ways to "be Jesus" in the human encounters of life. I do my best when I remember the mystery of powerlessness! When I am weak, THEN I am strong...

Away with the illusion of power through my own might...

My first patient today was Muslim -- not what I ordered at 9 a.m. I felt weak -- I experienced the blessing of turning to Jesus in trust rather than "just doing my thing" -- in my humility, I was surprised by a deep stirring of love and really enjoyed the visit...

From Richard Rohr: "The beggar who continues to pester the Lord is more pleasing than the dutiful and self-sufficient servant. Jesus has reversed our human scale of values...Risk all for love, Jesus tells us, even your own life. Give that to me and let me save it. People who seek to save their own lives, doing a good job of saving themselves, are saying that God's salvation is not needed. People who lose their lives for the sake of the Good News will find their lives. The healthy religious person is the one who ALLOWS GOD TO SAVE!"

I feel better about my weakness now than ever -- maybe it is the wisdom of age -- when I was younger I ignored weakness because of my illusion of infinitude...

Are you laughing at me???

Some of you are because you watched me acting as if I COULD MAKE ANYTHING HAPPEN -- at least it is funny to me now...

I still do NOT like my weakness, but I TREASURE my weakness...

I embrace it now as a friend for several reasons...

My weakness gives birth to peace because life and ministry is NOW about God and not me! My blood pressure goes down everytime I remember that I do not have to be ruled by my EXPECTATIONS -- I can ACCEPT whatever comes my way in simple trust of my Lord... He is in charge so all is well...

My weakness gives birth to power because my trust is now much greater in God...

My weakness gives birth to hope because the finitude of a 50 year old body allows me to give thanks for this flesh while eagerly looking forward to my spiritual body of the parousia which will never decay, decline or die...

I can really live in the already, but not yet of history...

When you hit 50 -- the physical limitations, the brutal dose of emotional reality and the sense that way more than half your days are done -- spiritual maturity begins to break through [even and most especially for men in my humble opinion]...

Will you join me in celebrating personal weakness, powerlessness and simple trust in our lives tomorrow???

After all, it is the poor in spirit who inherit the kingdom...

Until tomorrow -- shalom...

guy

I did all this without the help of wine -- but I now hear it calling...

I still want my dog!!!

Advent 2009

Greetings!

Tis the season to blog again -- Advent -- preparing my heart afresh for the coming again of Jesus Messiah...

I hope to blog throughout the Advent season -- probably for me much more than for you -- I need the change of life's seasons to re-focus me [especially spiritually]...

Blogging through the Lenten season was spiritually enriching for me -- hope you enjoyed the journey as well...

I have spent the last hour getting ready to start -- I almost quit before I got started [ha! ha!]...

Resetting my password since I had forgotten it since Lent -- oh well...

I am sitting on the front porch and it is actually cool in Tampa tonight -- so I had to go find my favorite Tractor Supply hoodie... Looks like I may have to go find some shoes too... My shaved head is pretty chilly too...

Pandora's internet radio is dialed in to Jimmy Buffett...

I have a bottle of red wine -- for my heart and to stay warm [of course]...

I have been choosing resources for my [hopefully our] journey for quite some time...

One booklet is from Henri Nouwen -- aren't you shocked [ha! ha!] -- it is entitled LIVING IN HOPE...

My other resource is my new devotional for 2010 -- RADICAL GRACE by Richard Rohr -- a Franciscan priet from New Mexico...

I also read my Bible tonight -- don't act so shocked [ha! ha!]...

But never fear -- I am almost ready to start -- maybe just a few more minutes for the wine to release more deeply spiritual thoughts...

So, what do i want out of Advent this year???

It is my favorite time of the year -- I LOVE THE HOLY SEASON!

I have been so giddy today that my family was afraid they were actually going to have to institutionalize me for "being too happy" [or maybe "acting too stupid"] -- sounds great -- I will apply for disability and take an early retirement for mental reasons [ha! ha!] Bet there is a lot of time to read on the "inside"...

I almost celebrated the beginning of Christmas by going to get me a new dog this afternoon -- a beautiful Golden Retriever I found on the internet -- but Nancy's "look" appeared too dangerous [and the boys wouldn't support me since Josh wants a Boxer and James always votes with his Mom because he does not like dogs]...

So, I am dogless, but still happy...

[I may still win this battle after we get back from PA for Christmas...]

I want fresh JOY, HOPE, PEACE and LOVE for 2010 out of this Advent journey...

My heart is full of anticipation and expectation -- I sense God is about to do "something"...

Nouwen says that there is "great expectation in the Advent season..."

I think he is right on -- I am looking for fresh and meaningful epiphanies of the Christ child throughout this season...

I bet some of my hospice patients will teach me so much about Christmastime -- for many, this will be there last one here on earth...

I am expecting spiritual encounters that will deepen my contemplation and move me to action...

I love the way Rohr says it when he speaks of the "primacy of action" in our spiritual journey...

"God can teach me in my taking care of the needy around me -- in moving toward the world as it is. I think when we respond to need as it is right in front of us, usually we are NOT as susceptible TO OUR EGOS! Life in front of us pulls us out of ourselves and we have to do it because it is there. That's how I see people being purified. That kind of spirituality I can trust. If your life is not moving toward practical action in this real, living world, with other people, WITH THE NOT ME, don't trust your spirituality. But your engagement must happen in tandem with contemplation, the inner disengagement with ego and openness to God. Contemplation is the Divine Therapy that purifies our work and involvement. Action and contemplation are the two polarities that regulate and balance the faith-filled life. It saddens me that most Christianity is right in the middle. It's neither radical interiority nor radical engagement. You don't learn much in the medicre middle, and you don't have too much to give." [321]

Observation: I am fully convinced that much of the personal pathology in our world is the direct result of EGO CENTRISM -- people are help captive by their own EGO -- we cannot find or live out of our TRUE SELF because we are consumed by US -- we make sure that EVERYTHING centers around US!!!

The most powerfully lived worship chorus of our day goes "It's ALL ABOUT ME dear Jesus, it's ALL ABOUT ME!" [rather than "it's all about YOU dear Jesus"]...

We are not engaging life and need around us in such a way that it is "pulling us out of ourselves" -- too often, we have a lazer focus on our needs, our wants, our pains, our wishes, our comfort, our control, our manipulation, and on and on and on -- there simply is not room for ANYTHING else since it is ALL ABOUT US!

I see it all around -- it is one of the realities of our post-modern culture -- we are fixated with ourselves!

This Advent -- I vote for being pulled [probably kicking and screaming] out of myself -- I will be a "person for others" [as Bonhoeffer described Jesus] -- I will embrace the need that will save me from myself -- I do NOT need the personal pathology of self-absorption -- I do not want to be imprisoned by my EGO...

Sounds fun...

Wanna join me???

Shalom...

Guy

I still want my dog [and I may not stop until I have it] -- it could teach me so much about serving God's creation [ha! ha!]...